Quotables, take 2

Savanna has taken to using big-ish words lately, mostly when she's angry. It is VERY hard to keep a straight face when she states emphatically, "Mom, it's the intentioner." It's even harder not to laugh when the big word makes a little sense, like today, when I said, "Savvy, you need to be nice," and her yelled response was: "Quit REMINDING me!"

Jaxon, today:
"Mom! I made an A-B-A pattern with the couch pillows!" (Indeed he had. Solid pillow, patterned pillow, solid pillow.)

"Mom, today our teacher did something really weird."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. There was a kid stuck up at the top of some of the playground equipment, and--"
"Did she climb to get him?!"
"YES! It was SO WEIRD!"
"Well....actually Jax, that's kind of cool, since he needed help getting down."
"Yeah, but it looked like she was a grown-up playing on the equipment."

Quotables

Savvy, when I told her to come inside because it was dark out, kept putting her hands out, palms-up and saying emphatically, shaking her head, "You can't DO this to me, Mom! You can't!" When I burst out laughing (couldn't help it), she let a smile sneak onto her face, and said, "You can't catch me!" and then darted away. I shrugged and began to walk to the door....she followed me in.

Jaxon, when I asked him what two songs he wanted to hear before bed: "Well, Mom, [pause, smacks lips] I would like to sing you something I learned in school today." Then he begins to sing, "One, one, one, you're so much fun, fun, fun. Two, two, two, I sure like you...." By the time he got to "Seven, seven, seven, simply heaven, heaven, heaven," I was done for. Totally crying.

Reed, during a discussion we were having about choices and the religion you choose, at one point swooned and fell back on his covers, saying dreamily, "I love being a Mormon!" Earlier in this conversation, he said fiercely with clenched fists, "I will never give up being Mormon!" This conversation, too, had me in happy tears by the end.

Savvy: "So, Mom...." She brushes the hair out of her eyes and purses her lips together. "I'm crushing on Surf and Cody. Who are you crushing on?"
            "Um....Daddy. Always Daddy. Because...."
 Savvy: "Because he's your husband! Right?"
            "Right."
Savvy: "And you only crush on Daddy, right? Because you go on dates?"
            "Right. And he's my husband."

Jaxon: Mom, I saw Reed at school today. It almost made me cry because I missed him after I saw him.

Reed: Mom, I wish Jax was in my class.

sweet little nothings

I was happily babysitting this darling bundle, Toryn....

 

...and Savvy was right next to me, at baby Toryn's head, quietly looking at her and occasionally extending one finger to stroke her soft cheek or smooth her silky hair. Suddenly Savvy points at Toryn's eyes and says in a delighted, high, quiet voice, "Mom! Her flashes! Her teeny tiny flashes!" I was confused for a split-second and then got it--and Savvy continued in the same excited voice, "I have big flashes. And you have big flashes. You wear makeup on your flashes. But Toryn has tiny flashes! They are soooo cuuuute." And then she giggled and patted Toryn's head.

Yesterday I had Jaxon in the clinic because of a high fever that wouldn't go away. While we waited for a long time to get his strep-test results back (negative, "just" an upper respiratory infection), Jaxon remained on the exam table, too tired to bother sitting up in one of the chairs. His eyes, which were already droopy to begin with, began to close and I wondered if he would fall asleep on the table. Suddenly his eyes popped open and he said, "Mom, I'm just going to close my eyes for a little while. I might sleep because it feels good." Then he closed his eyes and lay still, while I admired his insanely long lashes and felt sad for him. After a little while, he moved from his side to his back and said, "I'm cold." I said, "Are you? I could hold you." And he said, "But I know how to make myself warm." And with a little smile, he pulled his arms into his shirt, pulled his knees up under it, and lay there on his back like a turtle in its shell, content and cute.

Reed is into extreme statements. For instance, when one aspect of his day doesn't go well, it is "the worst" day of his life. Understandably, I have experienced some exasperation in trying to teach him that a day can be mostly good, even if he has to do homework or clean a toilet or isn't allowed to get a candy bar at the store. But I actually like this habit when it's turned on its good side--like when he got to play at his best friend's house for a few hours: "Mom, this is the best day I have ever had!" or when I let him have a third cookie: "You are the best mom EVER" or when he's having fun with Savvy and Jax: "I love you more than anything in the whole wide world."

Savvy is into shrugging, as in the shrug and "uh-uh" that means, "I don't know." Her favorite thing is to ask me a question when she knows I'm distracted: "Mom, is my hair blue?" -"Uh-uh...(shrug)"....then she repeats my answer with the clarification: Shrug + "I don't know". She's also into narrative prayers, and I am loving it. "And please bless that we will have fun. And thank you for our food. And Jesus Christ is my friend, and he loves me, and he loves mama and daddy and Reed and Jax and me, and he will come to my house and hug me, and I will say I love you and he will say I love you and I will say bye and he will say see you later"....

Lately Jaxon is discovering the beauty in silence. He has always been, how should I say....good at relaxing? Kind of a chill homebody. But last Sunday something must have really spoke to his heart, because as the kids sat at the counter while I made waffles, he said, "Mom, can we whisper? I like when it's quiet." So we whispered for about ten minutes, and he sat there with the biggest smile on his face and the sweetest sparkle in his eyes. We had a brief discussion of what sort of environment we need to cultivate for the Spirit to be in our home, and it was just a time that was full of peace.

Reed has walked (by himself) home from school and to school from home a few times this last week. He is happy as can be. (You know, happier than he's ever been in his whole life, in the language of extremes) I'm happy that he's happy, and I'm learning to (very slowly, with clenched fists and jumpy-stomach) let go. It's exciting and unnerving and wonderful. 

Lastly, not leastly, we are house-hunting. I'm hesitant to say more until we have something solid, but rest assured that I will document the journey and keep all of you posted!

Those last five years went by WAY too fast

August 24th, 2005And now he is five. How breathlessly fast that happened!

Dinner Quotables

Me: "Jaxon, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Jax: "A teenager."
Reed: "But Jax....you can only be a teenager for your childhood. After that, you have to be something else."
(they settled on Jaxon being a video game player)

Me: "Reed, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Reed: "A cop who plays with his kids on his days off."

and we dance

I know I say it a lot, but it's only because it's true: I feel immeasurably blessed/humbled to be married to Phill. And I'm only saying it again right now because it's a lead-in to my favorite part of today (so far, I still have some chocolate to eat and reading to do):

Phill dancing in our living room to "Let It Be" and "Hey Jude" with Savvy holding onto his fingers (this includes bouncing up and down as if jumping rope....incredibly exhausting, but little 2-year-olds do it for five minutes non-stop without breaking a sweat), and the boys rocking out nearby in their respective styles. (Jaxon laying lax on the couch, nodding his head up and down, chill as can be; Reed running around in circles, somersaulting, and bellowing with abject happiness.) We laughed so much tonight that my stomach hurts....Savvy was using a light saber as a microphone stand (she caught some Fergie today with me on TV; Glamorous held her spellbound)

The boys are in their beds, with their headphones in and their mp3 players on. Reed is singing, "NAA-NA-NA-NAAAA....HEEEYY JUUUDE" at the top of his lungs (unaware, of course, of how loud he is being to the rest of us), and Jaxon has his eyes closed, only quietly humming here and there, off in dreamy Hendrixland.

Oh, these babies. I used to wonder what it meant when people said, "My heart swells with joy"....and I am telling you, I get it. I feel like my heart is so full, at times like these when we are all laughing and smiling and connected and dancing and free, I wonder that my heart doesn't simply beat its way out of its cage of ribs.

Reed and Jax

Somewhat telling....Reed in the waves and Jaxon approaching cautiously. :)

More CA blogging/photos to come, and you can check out my Facebook page, too, if you're impatient.

Allergy FYI

A couple of weeks ago, when Jaxon came to me after class at church, he told me he was itchy. I figured he was hot in his clothes. We got home, and for about two hours, he said nothing more about it. Then he came to Phill with red cheeks and said, "Dad, my body itches."

Phill helped him undress, and lo and behold--he had hives on his back, his stomach, legs, waist (especially at the back), chest, and face--especially the cheeks. We were perplexed and mildly alarmed. We wondered if his treat in Primary had caused this, but didn't get an answer when we called his teachers.

So then we wondered about other things--had he been in contact with some sort of strong soap? Had a bug bit him? Had we fed him something new? The answers to all three, as far as we knew--no, no, no.

We decided to give him a half-dose of Benadryl. Wouldn't you know--the hives went away completely. So we knew that we were dealing with an allergic reaction of some sort....we just had no clue what it was. The hives did return that night. And the next day. And the day after that. They always responded with Benadryl, and they weren't covering a huge portion of his skin.

Anyway, 3 days in, I finally realized that the hives were where his clothes touched him most--on his back towards his armpits. At the waistband of his underwear. On his cheeks, where his shirt would brush his face as I brought it down over his head. On his calves where his jeans touched his skin. I called my grandma (the Allergy Queen) to run our theory by her, and with her confirmation, decided it must be the new laundry detergent we had just purchased. Tide with lavender.

I lamented to my grandma that I'd have to throw out or give away an entire box of detergent, but she told me I could just give the clothes an extra rinse and be fine. And guess what? She was absolutely right. We've not had another hives incident since.

Quotables: It's been a while!

Yesterday, while I made dinner, the boys sat at the table asking each other What's Your Favorite questions. I listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt and make them shy or change their answers. I overheard:

Jaxon asks Reed, "What's your favorite birthday present?"
Reed answers, "Um, I really want a toot bag! Then I can make toot sounds." (It took me a second to realize that he was talking about a whoopie cushion, and then I was just trying not to let him see me laughing. I was facing away from him with the hugest smile on my face.

Reed asks Jaxon, "Who's your favorite dad?"
Jaxon answers, "Phillip."
Reed laughs and says to me, "Phillip! Hahahah...."
And then Jaxon says matter-of-factly, "Cuz that's the dad we're 'upposed to have!"

Reed asks Jaxon, "What's your favorite rock 'n roll guy?"
Jaxon answers, "Mmmmm.....Jimi Hendrix." Except he says Hendwix, which is so cute I can hardly stand it, and I go into the pantry to laugh quietly.

Savanna is constantly making up songs. Right now, she is at the table, eating cereal and singing, "One-ee-two....one-ee-two...."

words to live by

While my last post communicated that as stressed-out moms, we're not alone, secretly, I have lately been feeling rather lonely-ish in my various efforts as a mother. Not because I don't think anyone has gone through more difficult times as a mom, but because I'm just in the throes of it; I'm a little weary, and I am having a hard time seeing an end in sight. (Oh Jaxon, WHEN will you decide to go to the bathroom ONLY in the bathroom?) It's more than the potty-training stuff. It's the contention. I am trying--so hard, so hard--to teach my children to be kind to each other. Most days I feel like it's definitely going to be a very gradual process. As in, maybe in a few years they'll go more than an hour without fighting over something.

But I'm not actually posting to complain. I'm posting to say that I read something this morning that made me feel so much better. So hopeful, and so much lighter. I know that what is frustrating me right now is not so huge, especially compared to some bigger things I've been through, and of course compared to some enormous adversity suffered by those close to me. But I also know that the Lord is aware of even my smallest issues. And even those smallest issues matter to Him.

Here's a snippet of what I read in the September 2009 Ensign this morning:

From Lessons from Liberty Jail by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

"...we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry, 'Where art Thou?' it is imperative that we remember that He is right there with us--where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us. When lonely, cold, hard times come, we have to endure, we have to continue, we have to persist...Keep knocking on that door. Keep pleading. In the meantime, know that God hears your cries and knows your distress. He is your Father, and you are His child."

I Just Wanted to Say to You Readers:

If your 4-year-old punched your 6-year-old in the nose and made it bleed,

you're not alone.

If your 2-year-old punctured your 4-year-old's foot with a rake,

you're not alone.

If your bathroom smells disgusting, takes an hour to deep-clean, and STILL smells disgusting afterwards,

you're not alone.

If your 4-year-old uses his carpet for a toilet,

you're not alone!!

And if you find it simply exhausting and overwhelming to keep your temper in check when all of these things happen in ONE DAY.....

you guessed it. You're not alone.

It has been quite the day. I will recover, but at the moment, I have put myself in time-out until I feel forgiving.

My boy Jaxon is four.

When I was 3 months pregnant, Phill left for several weeks of training to prepare him for his second deployment to Iraq. Reed (who was 2 at the time) and I spent our time quietly, going to the park to swing, staying in on the couch to cuddle, or sitting in the rocking chair reading.

As my belly grew bigger, my heart grew heavier. I wondered how this little baby would have a good relationship with his dad, who was so far away and would be for so long.

I grew more and more round; Reed would place his hands on me, put his mouth less than an inch away from my skin and say, "You okay, baby? You come out? You come out and have some chocolate milk?" He was eager. I was anxious.

I listened to my HypnoBirthing CD every night. Every night, I visualized a birth without my husband, a birth still sacred and sweet without the company of the one I wanted most. Every night, I prayed for strength, and I prayed for my little boys--my Reed and my Jaxon--prayed that this long absence from their father would not somehow scar them. Prayed that I would feel gratitude for the support around me, and not anger at this situation that couldn't be altered. I prayed, and I was blessed--both with priesthood-holder's hands on my head, and with blessings that were very personal and tailored absolutely to my own anxious mind.

On August 23rd, 3 days past my "due date" (ha...ha.), my mom and I drove with Reed up Cedar Mountain, thinking to pass some time while we timed my somewhat-iffy contractions that had been here and then gone for the last several days. They were mostly painless; I talked to my mom, she talked to me, and Reed slept peacefully as we made our way along the mountain road.

We came home that night, and Phill called--he was by this time in Iraq, done with training and a couple of months into his long absence. I said, "I've been having contractions for a few hours. Nothing too huge, but....they feel different." He said, "I think Jaxon is coming soon. I just have a feeling." I did, too. I fell asleep at ten. This was the first of many tender mercies, as I couldn't usually fall asleep before midnight.

I slept so solidly, and yet I was aware that as I slept, my body continued to work. I awoke at midnight and thought, Oh. They're still going. I smiled to myself, relieved that this was really happening. I fell back asleep for a couple of hours. At two, I awoke, fully aware that I was definitely laboring. Not unbearably, just obviously. I felt both tense with anticipation and happy with relief. I prayed, fervently, that I would be fearless, and that I would see the good things happening around me.

I slept on and off until about 4, when I needed to get in my bathtub. It was a need--I needed that hot water around my belly, my back. As I squatted there in the tub, the house was quiet. My mother slept downstairs, and my Reed was in the room next to the bathroom. I had been so afraid of feeling alone without Phill to help me through this labor. I had prayed so desperately to know that I wasn't. I knew, surrounded there in warm water, that I was being quietly supported. I knew that I was not the only one awake in my house. I cried some and stretched some; I talked to myself and to my belly. "Daddy is so excited. I am so excited. You just keep doing what you're doing, and I'll keep doing what I'm doing."

At 4:30, I needed my mother. I went downstairs and walked into the room where she slept. All it took was a gentle touch to her shoulder, and her eyes opened; she looked at me and said, "Hi, sweetie." She lead me up the stairs and was right next to me as I had a contraction on all fours. My mother was so quiet as my body worked before her eyes, but I understood what she was saying. I could feel her saying, "I know....I know." Seven--seven is her number. She placed her hands on the small of my back, pressing, and asked, "Okay?" I nodded. She knew that less words were better. When I finished with that contraction, she said, "Would you like juice?" And I was astounded at how much I did want something sweet and cold in my mouth.

We called my doula: my pregnant (as pregnant as I was, in fact) friend, Camille, the daughter of a midwife, and my constant through that pregnancy. She came over, walked in quiet as a cat, and took her place on my other side, opposite my mom.

I was surrounded by good women.

I asked my mom to stay with Reed. After much thought, I decided I would rather have my mom at home with my little son whose life was changing so drastically, rather than at the hospital with me, where I was familiar with what was going on.

I didn't labor long. When I arrived at the hospital, I was so 'busy' with labor that I could hardly lay on the bed to be monitored. I spent plenty of my labor in a hot tub of water, sometimes moaning, and often just drifting, silent, in some other realm. Sometimes I felt carried away, grateful for the rest, grateful for a chance to refresh. Somewhere around 9 centimeters, my body paused.

For a bit of a stretch, I did not contract. I simply floated. And then I awoke, and felt that something was in my way. That I was waiting for something. And my midwife, angel that she is, said, "Rachel? Do you need to cry?" And I nodded, beginning to sob, saying, "I need Phill....I just need Phill....I want Phill." She asked with tears in her own eyes, "Do you feel like you can't do this without Phill? Are you afraid?" I nodded again, and she held me for a while. Then, when my emotions had run their course, she said, "Rachel, are you ready? Whenever you're ready, this will happen. You can do this." And I prayed, once again, for strength, for resolve, steeling myself. I had been told in a priesthood blessing that Phill would be there in spirit, and now I could feel his joy and his anticipation, and even his support. Further, I could feel my Savior's joy for me, His support, His influence in that room of women.

My legs shook mercilessly, and yet I couldn't bear to do anything but stand. I stood, leaning heavily against Camille, her own belly soft against mine, my arms around her neck. I marveled at her ability to hold me up! She stood so solidly, so calmly, just bathed in quiet and assurance. I breathed many thank-you's to her, and moaned--deep, low, moans that seemed completely involuntary. They simply rose up from the depths and carried me through each wave of my working body. They were the strange soundtrack to Jaxon's birth.

In only a few pushes, Jaxon emerged at 9:28 in the morning on August 24th, so quiet and awake, while I could not help but loudly sob his name over and over again. So soon he was at my breast, feeding eagerly and staring into my eyes, communicating in only a language mothers and their newborns know.

Tinged with the elation of this birth was some bittersweet aching for Phill. At some point afterwards, I wept and said to Jaxon, "I'm sorry he didn't get to see you come out. I'm sorry. But he was here." And later, when I looked at my phone, I saw and Missed Call: Unknown: 9:27A.M. Missed Call: Unknown: 9:29A.M. Phill had called. One minute before, and one minute after. He had been there.

"...I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

Phill was able to hold Jaxon six weeks later, and see the video of the birth. He was home for good nine months after that, and Jaxon kindly deferred learning to walk until a month afterwards, when only Phill was in the room.

Our Jaxon is four now, and I feel as if I've only just caught up. He is incredibly funny, with the timing of a true comedian, but he's also quite introspective and silent at times. He has a very special, very different bond with Phill, and for most of his second year of life hardly seemed to notice me (in favor of Phill). He seems to already be reading some, or at least memorizing very well the things I read for him. He is kind to Savvy and in awe of Reed, and loves to play with them both. I love you, my boy Jax.

basic happiness

There are days when simple pleasures are totally adequate to make me mostly happy throughout the day. (I must admit that I am not yet well-adjusted enough for this to work every day.)

Here is a sampling of a few things that made me happy today:Yep, strawberries. I did say simple pleasures, didn't I? Both the strawberries and the Ikea containers housing them. I just love the way it looks. (And tastes.)
Savvy and her new (new from D.I.) baby doll, Baby D.I. (Phill bequeathed this somewhat creepy dolly with the name "Deseret-Indigo", so she is "Baby D.I." for short.) All of a sudden this evening, Savanna looked at me and shouted, "Baby D.I.!! She wake up!" And she bolted into her room, with me on her heels. Holding on to the side of her crib, Savvy said, "My baby wake up! She awake!" So I took out Baby D.I. and put her in Savvy's arms. Isn't Savvy a good mommy?
I will be posting about my birthday and Jaxon's birthday, obviously not in chronological order, soon. He was very particular about the kind of cake he wanted, and I have to say, he was right on. This thing was delicious! I had two pieces today, and I'm planning on a third when the kids are in bed....sneaky, sneaky. (Once upon a time I hid in the pantry to eat a Creamsicle because I didn't want to share.) I love the fact that because I ran 9 miles today, I don't feel bad about 3 pieces of cake. I'm sure some marathon-training experts would be shaming me for my gratuitous dessert use, but....I just don't feel guilty! :D
Now, this thing....this thing makes me happy mostly in retrospect. I hate using the treadmill, but when I decide to be lazy in the morning and don't wake up in time to get my miles in outdoors, I end up running to the sounds of HGTV or the Food Network while Jaxon and Savvy watch a movie. Once I'm done, yeah, I'm happy!
Jaxon playing Lego Batman on the XBOX. His concentration is a hoot.
Reed ran into his room immediately after school to change clothes--into Phill's shirt. It makes me smile hugely to see Reed in Phill's clothes.
This man. The minute he walks into the door, my day is instantly better. I also happen to love him in uniform....so dashing.
Last, and of course not least, on my list of today's simple pleasures: A phone call from my beautiful sister, Liz! We were able to talk for much longer than normal. We laughed, we cried....no really. We cried and laughed. It's our style. :)

sweet tooth

When the house is clean, and Reed is at school, and Savanna is napping, and I have had sufficient time to lay down for a minute, I like to bake. (This is not the only time I like to bake. If it was, I would bake once every two weeks.) Jaxon likes to pull up a chair to the counter and help out, and sometimes it becomes sweet one-on-one time between us. I love to see his big dark chocolate eyes light up when I offer him cookie dough or ask him to pour in the entire bag of chocolate chips. I like the conversations we have.

"Mom, that's flour and sugar in those white things."
"Yep. Flour and sugar."
"Why do we need eggs in cookies?"
"Because when we bake them, the eggs hold the cookie together."

When I dropped a cookie sheet on the floor-
"Mom, that sound was so loud it almost maked my ears bleed!"

"I maked chicken with dad last night. And then we put it in buh-reedo's." (Chicken enchiladas...he helped Phill shred the chicken.)

"Mom? Why do we pick up the chair instead of scrape it across the floor?"
"Because if you scrape it across the floor, it's loud."
"Yeah. That would make my ears bleed." [At this point I wonder what Reed has been telling him...or if it is just his own conclusion he's reached.]

Lastly, as he was licking cookie dough off his hand,
"Mmmm.....yummy, yummy, yummy."

Recipe to what we made today: My Kitchen Cafe's Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies. The dough is divine....I have yet to actually try the cookies, though I did save some dough to make some. The dough, I can promise, is yummy-yummy-yummy.

POST-EDIT: These cookies are SOOOOOOOO good!!!!

the sound of music (whatever sound that is)

I discovered a few forgotten m&m's in the bottom of the trail mix this afternoon. Very exciting.

In other exciting news, Jaxon is developing very definite tastes in music. We know that Jimi Hendrix's Red House gets Jaxon grooving. We're talking head-bobbing, lips pursed, run-and-get-my-fake-guitar grooving. He gets in a trance, nearly. And if you turn off Red House before Red House is done, oh, you never hear the end of it. Not to mention he stares you down, daggers in his big brown eyes, his long eyelashes suddenly menacing instead of unbelievably cute. He tenses every muscle in his body and turns beet red. Then takes a breath only to say in a gravelly growl, "That was my SONG!" I'm telling you. Don't cross this boy.

Both of the boys love Queen. Yesterday during Bohemian Rhapsody I look to the back of the van to find Reed staring pensively out his window, brow furrowed, lips pursed. (This means that he is having a dramatic daydream. I know this face. I make this face when I listen to music that moves me and makes me daydream.) I know not to interrupt that face. And Jaxon? He stares straight ahead, brow furrowed, solemnly bobbing his head in time. He loves it so much, he's mad. (He comes by it honestly. I love things furiously, too.) Invariably, though, the standard We Will Rock You gleans much bigger reactions, and I end up putting it on Repeat to soothe the screeching teradactyls I sometimes drive around in my car.

But the best part of it is that their tastes vary so widely. While Jaxon proclaims himself to be strictly "Wok and Woll", I have glimpsed his sweet face in the mirror while Silk Road Ensemble & Yo-Yo Ma was on (I couldn't find the exact song on YouTube., but this is one of our favorites) and he looked so tender I thought he might cry. And once when I looked back, little tears were trickling down Reed's cheeks.

It makes me really, really happy to see them affected by music, especially music that I love. And I know my music tastes are all over the place, and you make think I'm silly, but this is just another song I'm adding to my favorites:
Jai Ho (I read that it means "we wish you victory")

Food Math

Six huge pieces of cheesecake over two days = five pounds

No, Camilla, I can't eat that much cheesecake with impunity. :)

Back to the treadmill after my long, languishing break.

Soupy weather and cheesiness

The snow that surprised us all here in St.George is long since melted and it was a reasonable 44 degrees today, but I'm still cold! It's the kind of weather that makes me crave soup, so I tried my hand tonight at this broccoli cheese soup from My Kitchen Cafe. It was marvelous, and very easy!

Tonight I'm going to make cheesecake for my very first time (this one, actually). I accidentally bought blackberries instead of blueberries....so I'm not sure what will go over the top--maybe if I like the taste of the blackberries it will be a delicious blackberry cheesecake. Or maybe not. In any case, wish me luck!

Oh, and notice how I am decidedly not posting in a New Year's fashion today? Going against the grain just for the sake of doing so.....but I'm sure a resolve-heavy post will follow soon enough, because really I'm just like the rest of you! :)

Halloween Photos

We started out with Reed as Anakin (I would like to mention that his costume except for the long-johns was homemade, because my sewing machine does not work, and it took me five hours to do, and I had no pattern.....so be gentle with any critique of its quality!), Jax as a pirate, and Savanna as a ballerina--that was for the ward trunk-or-treat on Tuesday. But we ended up with: Reed as Anakin, Jax as "an army", and Savanna as a fairy. I was lazy and it was eighty degrees outside. Some shifting was necessary! It was kind of a huge day for them yesterday, what with all the sugar, heat, and clothing changes. By the time we got to the actual trick-and-treating itself (at the Zion Outlet Mall), they were pretty much done. It was still fun, though, I think? :)

Kiddos Update

First, I just wanted to say thank you to all you who read my blog, be you family, friends, or close blogquaintances. You've all been so supportive and loving and my efforts would be a lot more like drudgery without your cheering me on. So thank you!

So--onward. I realize that I haven't blogged much about what my kiddos are up to! Don't feel obligated to stick around; I wax wordy where my little wonders are involved. Here's the lowdown:

Reed - Reed is liking school a little more, and more, I suspect, than he wants to let on. I asked his teacher how he's been doing, and apparently, he has words now. Many. :) She said he does just fine and seems to enjoy himself. He loves anything to do with Legos and Star Wars right now, or maybe I should say for the last nine months. He still asks me how far away his birthday is, and I try to help him reference time-passage in his mind. Very hard to do, though, and it was very difficult for him that his daddy and sister have birthdays in May, his mama and brother have birthdays in August, and he has to wait all the way until November for his lone fall/winter birthday. He is constantly telling me what he wants for his birthday. I believe a rocket ship was mentioned, as well as a four-wheeler. He can "read" simple books aloud to me. I'm not putting "read" in quotations to lessen his literary achievements--just for accuracy's sake, because most of what he's reading is formed of sight words and the boy has an incredible memory. But he also does some good "real" reading, and I'm just happy to see him enjoying books. I have been reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to both him and Jaxon at night, and he is deeply interested. He asks lots of Potter questions in the morning, but at night, just lays silently content, imagining who-knows-what in his impressive Imaginarium. :) Reed has a really special bond with both his siblings, and hugs them both when he comes out of school. Often, he and Jax say to each other, "I missed you!" He carries Savvy around a lot, which she loves--her own form of easy transportation. He is incredibly generous, helpful, and creative. He draws, colors, and writes all the time, and his latest project is making stories. He'll bring me sometimes ten brilliantly beautifully colored and lettered pages, and asks me to staple the sides together. Then he reads it to me. His intonations are right on, and the stories are usually funny or cautionary, and always long. He has created characters to go with his various voices, one of which we together named "Bronckley". When we play together, his character usually says things like, "Would you like to sleep over at my house? My mom says it's okay. Plus she says we can eat pizza in my room and watch TV in my room and we don't ever have to go to bed. Actually, my mom says you can live with us if you want."

Yesterday he drew a gorgeous picture of our family, complete with a pet white tiger. In that picture, Phill has a unibrow and ears (which I mention because none of the rest of us in the picture have ears), I have a lopsided smile and somehow weary-looking eyes, oddly scraggly hair, and Reed looks maliciously pleased (Reed loves drawing angry eyebrows) and has tri-colored hair, which he called "rock star hair" as he colored. The tiger is larger than all of us, and written on our house is "21000i". I'm standing in the doorway with open arms, with my weary lopsidedly happy face. Savvy and Jax have no faces and they are tiniest in the whole picture. Our house is surprisingly accurate in its portrayal. Hahahahah.....oh, my Reed.

Jaxon - Jax is obsessed with his water gun and frequently goes into the backyard to squirt all of the water out of it onto the walls or windows of the house. He also likes Savvy's spray bottle (that I use to do her hair) and he can soundlessly empty that out on the back of the couch at lightning speed.

He is getting really good at explaining his emotions, and has perfected his angry posture. (Slumped shoulders, furrowed brow, balled fists.) He can explain most everything he's thinking much better than, say, six months ago, and he has some funny questions. "Mom, are there people walking on the world?" He doesn't usually nap anymore, although he has replaced his naptime with either quiet glazed-eyes introspection or chatty Lego play.

He loves toast. He would happily eat toast for every meal if I let him. Usually when he wakes up his first words are: "Mom, my diaper's soggy. I want chocolate-chocolate milk and eggs and toast." He prefers to be fully dressed first thing in the morning, although he has finally grown out of his desire to wear everyday clothes to bed.

He growls when he's shy or at a loss for words, and he laughs readily. He's found kind of a threat in Savvy, who has started to be pretty bold and will happily walk up and take a toy right out of his hands. The first few times she did that, he followed her around, whining at her to give it back please, but finally absorbed what we kept telling him and figured out that he could just take it back. (I know, I know, we ought to encourage him to share, but she gets away with snatching toys away all too often. And when he gently takes back his toy, which he almost always does gently, she just walks away and finds something else.)

Jaxon loves to color, too, and used to ask that we make his colored paper into a ship. But now that he's seen Reed's recent projects, he asks for it to be made into a book. He hates to be sticky and loves to get wet. He loves hot dogs and toast and usually turns up his nose at anything that looks more complicated than that, although he's eating a little more adventurously lately (finally). His favorite joke is: 'Guess what?' -What? 'Chicken butt!' and he spices it up with all variety of substitutes for "chicken", including monkey, mama, potato, and toast. Sometimes that joke is the first thing he says to me in the morning. :)

Savanna - Savvy is deep in imitation mode. She talks on her cell phone (her hand), saying "Heh-doe??" She gets dressed (in Jaxon's clothes, which end up splayed out all over the bedroom). She combs her hair (while I try to do it). She kisses her babydoll and says sweetly "bay-beeeeee....." (after biting its head). She yells, she shakes her head no, she gives slobbery kisses, she pats your back if you're hurt or crying, she knocks on her wall when she's done with her nap, and she has a few words:

Hello (heh-doe), buh-bye (with a wave now!), hi, Reed (Wee or Weet), I love you (lut-youuuuuu), mine (courtesy of Jaxon), here you go or there you go (deer-doe or dare-doe), where are you (wah-youuuuuu?) the baby signs for 'dog' and 'more', and owee (usually this one is coupled with incredibly dramatic faux crying and gnashing of teeth and flopping helplessly onto the couch cushion or floor, generally her elaborate ploy to get attention).

She loves to stand on the dishwasher drawer when it's open. Today to keep her occupied while I did dishes, I buckled her into her chair and gave her two crayons and some paper. First she panted at the sight of the crayons, then shrieked with happiness as she marked up her paper. Then she explored the nutritional value of crayon wax, deciding it was a healthy addition to her diet.

She is strong-willed, sweet, and loves to make us laugh. She plays peekaboo by only covering her mouth or peeking out her fingers with both eyes. She loves her brothers and walks through the house calling for them when they're gone-"Weet? Dah-ee?" In three months she will go to nursery. She applauds herself when she dances.

Today's List of Quotables

On our way home from school, Reed said, "I think if a teenager went to preschool, he wouldn't like it. Maybe he would yell, 'I don't want to learn preschool stuff! I want to learn teenager stuff!'" (Teenager part said in a low voice. Reed is fascinated by teenagers.)

Then, when we got home, he was hugging/holding Savvy and said, "Mama, I missed Savvy when I was at school. I was thinking of her cuteness."

On the way to Kmart this morning, Reed and I were having a long discussion about domesticated/pet tigers. (It's pretty adorable to hear a 5-year-old say 'domesticated'.) [This discussion was followed by about twenty-three questions about volcanoes.] Reed asked if domesticated tigers still ate humans. I told him that if they were extremely mad and extremely hungry, they might try to eat a human. Jaxon said in a happy voice from his carseat, "I feed a tiger raisins, Mama."