While my last post communicated that as stressed-out moms, we're not alone, secretly, I have lately been feeling rather lonely-ish in my various efforts as a mother. Not because I don't think anyone has gone through more difficult times as a mom, but because I'm just in the throes of it; I'm a little weary, and I am having a hard time seeing an end in sight. (Oh Jaxon, WHEN will you decide to go to the bathroom ONLY in the bathroom?) It's more than the potty-training stuff. It's the contention. I am trying--so hard, so hard--to teach my children to be kind to each other. Most days I feel like it's definitely going to be a very gradual process. As in, maybe in a few years they'll go more than an hour without fighting over something.
But I'm not actually posting to complain. I'm posting to say that I read something this morning that made me feel so much better. So hopeful, and so much lighter. I know that what is frustrating me right now is not so huge, especially compared to some bigger things I've been through, and of course compared to some enormous adversity suffered by those close to me. But I also know that the Lord is aware of even my smallest issues. And even those smallest issues matter to Him.
Here's a snippet of what I read in the September 2009 Ensign this morning:
From Lessons from Liberty Jail by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
"...we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry, 'Where art Thou?' it is imperative that we remember that He is right there with us--where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us. When lonely, cold, hard times come, we have to endure, we have to continue, we have to persist...Keep knocking on that door. Keep pleading. In the meantime, know that God hears your cries and knows your distress. He is your Father, and you are His child."