Guess what I did today? I'll give you a hint--it wasn't in keeping with my resolve to lead a more balanced life.
And I still feel incredibly stupid/guilty about it.
I stayed up late last night--about an hour later than usual--because Phill and I just love to talk to each other sometimes. Sweet reason, but holy moly, was I tired when I woke up.
So tired that I didn't feel a bit less tired after I dropped Reed off at school. So tired that breakfast didn't do a darn thing to perk me up, and I felt like I'd been drugged. So I felt a little nap was warranted. Note: I'm thinking 20, 30 minutes--just enough to rejuvenate me or trick me into thinking I'm not tired anymore.
I fell asleep at about 10:30. I slept the heavy sleep where I couldn't get my limbs to move, and where my dreams were long and detailed. I slept. And slept. And slept.
Until I woke up! And wondered quietly what time it was, assuming that it was probably about lunch time--about noon--and got up just as Jaxon asked me if he could go answer the knock at the front door.
It was my beloved neighbor/friend, Sarah. "Phill tried to call you to remind you to get Reed because it's early-out. He couldn't reach you--" (oh my word oh my word oh my WORD of COURSE he couldn't reach me because remember? I was sleeping the heavy sleep where I couldn't get my LIMBS to move and ANSWER THE PHONE and REMEMBER IT WAS FRIDAY SO REED WOULD GET OUT AT 1:15 and it is 1:37!)--"so the school called me." She said it all with a calm smile, no judgment, nothing but goodness in her. My heart dropped to the floor and I asked her if she would get him--much faster than me needing to get ready and get the kids ready and THEN go get him--and sat on the couch and sobbed. I know it's not about me--but when I do something stupid, I feel stupid, and tend to have a long while where I wonder what on earth is wrong with me.
Sarah brought him home, in one smiling piece--bless his heart. He was fine. And as children so often are, he was completely forgiving. You fell asleep, Mom? For 3 hours? Straight through when school got out? It's all good. No problem.
I read to him for a while, cuddling him on the couch, looking deep into his big brown eyes and kissing his cheeks, telling him that I was so, so sorry, while he just smiled at me and reassured me that he was indeed intact.
I suppose I'm sharing this because
a) As mentioned above, I still feel guilty, and somehow sharing makes me feel a little less so.
b) If you've done this before, well, now you know I'VE done it, too, and who knows? maybe this makes you feel a little more forgiving of yourself.
c) By sharing this, I am HOPING to correct myself and NOT do this again--that is, not to miss picking up my child because I slept through it! This pounds into the ground for me the importance of going to bed at a decent hour....note to self: How about you don't start conversations with your husband entitled "How We Will Parent Them When They Are Teenagers" when it is already midnight, especially when you are still very much in the throes of Parenting Them While They Are Little, and the Teenager conversation has caused you to slip a bit on While They Are Little!!