Monday, May 19, 2008


I thought I would update, since my next-to-last post was rather down in the dumps and overflowing with my overwhelmed mood.

I honestly don't know how Reed feels about moving to Saint George. I ask him, and he says with enthusiasm, "Good, good, good!" But I wonder if he's just afraid to say he's sad or doesn't want to move. Or maybe he has no idea how he feels or what this all really entails. I'm of course concerned for how they'll adjust, even though they've proven themselves extremely adaptable and steel-strong time and time again. But maybe my nerves over their adjusting are really all from me, and only 2% from things they've said or done that would indicate uneasiness. Just pensive over that matter.

Savvy is feeling better! She was sick for two and a half days, and just quietly laid in my arms for much of the time. Aside from how sad it is to see a one-year-old lay still for longer than one minute, she was so feverish that she made me sweat, not to mention sweated enough to make her beautiful little curls become almost a legend unto themselves. She has these teeny tiny ones at the nape of her neck that almost make me cry, they're so cute. Anyway, she is done with vomiting, mostly done with extraordinary diaper unpleasantness, and mostly back to her normal self, aside from still having a massively hard time with teething. However, due to about eight hours a day of me holding her, and ten times of me picking her up in the night, she (of course) expects me to keep doing that. And the little quick study has figured out that if she cries as if she's in pain, I will come to her very fast. (Then once she's in my arms she stops crying immediately, smiles and says, "Hi.") Clever little doll!

Due to an amazingly motivated and patient husband, we have gotten a lot of packing done. Since Savanna was in such great need of (ONLY MY) holding, Phill got a whole lot done before I was able to lay my sweaty baby in her crib and help him out. We have the bookshelves, books, lots of clothes, dishes, three closets, and most of the kitchen packed in boxes and waiting out in the garage for fast and easy loading. (Sisters in the ward, report that to your moving-weary husbands in elders' quorum. We have them in mind. We are doing our best to make things easier in the hopes that they will not mind coming!)

Because of the packing, I have been able to sort through my clothes and get rid of the ones I haven't worn (or will not wear) for a long time. It was fun and relieving to get rid of four Wal-Mart bags stuffed to the brim with things I will not wear again. But it was really sad to look in the closet afterwards and see absolute evidence that I just rotate eight or nine shirts throughout a two-week period. It was easy to trick myself when the closet was full of even the non-wearable clothes. Come to think of it....that rotatable supply may be more like six shirts, depending on how picky I'm being about the way the clothes look on me. Sometimes four, when I'm being ridiculously self-conscious.

The clothes I got rid of, mind you, are not just "Oh, I don't like this anymore." Most of them fit in one of the following categories: this will not fit me again, this is stretched out from pregnancy, this has shrunk, this has been faded since the third time I washed it three years ago, this one truly does not flatter me and I don't know why I ever thought it did.....that sort of thing. (By the way, has anyone else fluctuated between FOUR sizes due to pregnancy, nursing, and other fluctuations of a woman's hormone levels?!)

I love clothes shopping, and I love to say that I need to. But I feel selfish when I go spend more than $10.00 on myself, so it's kind of an outing that I have to build up to, talk about with Phill, plan extensively for, and realize the extreme need for before I feel justified. (Yes, I know that's silly. The logical part of my brain is yelling that to me right now. It's just not yelling loud enough to out-shout the illogical part at the moment.) I know it's not bad to treat myself once in a while, and that there are legitimate shopping needs here. But I still clean the whole house before I go and have an extensive dinner and dessert planned, along with some good bonding time with the kids and Phill, before I go pay such close attention to myself. (And yet, I'm still finding that I have to conquer some various habit of selfishness every day. I frequently overwhelm myself with all there is to improve. One thing at a time, Self. One thing at a time!!)

1 comment:

kathy said...

You need to go spoil yourself and splurge. Moving to St George will be a little warmer(ok a lot warmer) and that might give you a great excuse or reason to go clothes shopping. We will MISS you.