Almost reverently, after I spelled out a sentence at his request: "I just want to learn everything--don't you, Mom?"
Then, full of confidence, says to Jaxon: "Jaxon. After we die, we get to make our own planets."
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Confessions
Slowly but surely, the holiday weight is sloughing off. It's grumbling in the process (and so am I), but that pesky padding is thinning out. (Ah....thank you, Treadmill.)
It's a hate-love relationship with my treadmill right now. I really, really, really hate to start working out, and I'm not usually enthusiastic until the last ten minutes or so (because I'm about to be done), but good heavens don't I love the feeling of having worked out.
I did get in four workouts last week--my default goal. And I'm proud of myself, don't get me wrong. But I'm still not doing that other thing too consistently.....
you know.
That other thing.
waking
up
e
a
r
l
y
.........eugh. I hate it. I hate, hate, hate it. Lara, I feel your pain; we are nocturnally-minded sisters or something.
First, it's the dead silence of the house. My alarm pierces the deep, joyous, solid satisfaction of my sleep; it demands attention. Then if I'm being good, I roll onto my back--because I WON'T fall asleep on my back unless I've currently given birth and am nursing and exhausted beyond normalcy--and I try to open my eyes, hearing nothing but the comfortable (STILL SLEEPING) breathing of Phill next to me, the weird mutterings of our on-the-outs computer in the livingroom (it groans, I'm telling you), and the pressing silence of a still-sleeping household. Shouldn't I still be sleeping, too? (that's where the self-pity really kicks in and I maybe cry a little bit with my eyes still closed)
But if I don't wake up when the time is ripe, here's what happens: Reed comes into my room, pats my face, and says sweetly (and a little bit nervously, as the poor boy has discovered my alternate personality in the mornings), "Mama, we're awake. And Savvy is too. And I would like some cereal."
Which doesn't make me feel like I'm doing very well at this Doing My Best thing. (And oh, how that Doing My Best thing matters with regard to motherhood. Are you as worn out as I am?)
When I dress down the problem, dress it down to bare bones, it comes to this: It hurts. Waking up early (for me) hurts. But too bad. I need to do it anyway.
There's the issue. I need to do it. I don't HAVE to. But I NEED to. Why is it so much easier to do what I have to do, rather than make the difficult choices day in and day out?
No one's forcing me out of bed. If I beg sadly enough, Phill will kindly cover me with the blanket and say, "It's okay. Go back to sleep." And my kids aren't physically dragging me out of the bed. But I need to get out of bed early, because if I don't, my children wander, aimless, oddly-dressed and probably hungry.
So, my (already-mentioned) confession: I am terrible at getting out of bed before my children practically drag me out of bed. And I'm going to do better, as in 7:30.
I really can't wait for it to be lighter outside in the mornings.
It's a hate-love relationship with my treadmill right now. I really, really, really hate to start working out, and I'm not usually enthusiastic until the last ten minutes or so (because I'm about to be done), but good heavens don't I love the feeling of having worked out.
I did get in four workouts last week--my default goal. And I'm proud of myself, don't get me wrong. But I'm still not doing that other thing too consistently.....
you know.
That other thing.
waking
up
e
a
r
l
y
.........eugh. I hate it. I hate, hate, hate it. Lara, I feel your pain; we are nocturnally-minded sisters or something.
First, it's the dead silence of the house. My alarm pierces the deep, joyous, solid satisfaction of my sleep; it demands attention. Then if I'm being good, I roll onto my back--because I WON'T fall asleep on my back unless I've currently given birth and am nursing and exhausted beyond normalcy--and I try to open my eyes, hearing nothing but the comfortable (STILL SLEEPING) breathing of Phill next to me, the weird mutterings of our on-the-outs computer in the livingroom (it groans, I'm telling you), and the pressing silence of a still-sleeping household. Shouldn't I still be sleeping, too? (that's where the self-pity really kicks in and I maybe cry a little bit with my eyes still closed)
But if I don't wake up when the time is ripe, here's what happens: Reed comes into my room, pats my face, and says sweetly (and a little bit nervously, as the poor boy has discovered my alternate personality in the mornings), "Mama, we're awake. And Savvy is too. And I would like some cereal."
Which doesn't make me feel like I'm doing very well at this Doing My Best thing. (And oh, how that Doing My Best thing matters with regard to motherhood. Are you as worn out as I am?)
When I dress down the problem, dress it down to bare bones, it comes to this: It hurts. Waking up early (for me) hurts. But too bad. I need to do it anyway.
There's the issue. I need to do it. I don't HAVE to. But I NEED to. Why is it so much easier to do what I have to do, rather than make the difficult choices day in and day out?
No one's forcing me out of bed. If I beg sadly enough, Phill will kindly cover me with the blanket and say, "It's okay. Go back to sleep." And my kids aren't physically dragging me out of the bed. But I need to get out of bed early, because if I don't, my children wander, aimless, oddly-dressed and probably hungry.
So, my (already-mentioned) confession: I am terrible at getting out of bed before my children practically drag me out of bed. And I'm going to do better, as in 7:30.
I really can't wait for it to be lighter outside in the mornings.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Food Math
Six huge pieces of cheesecake over two days = five pounds
No, Camilla, I can't eat that much cheesecake with impunity. :)
Back to the treadmill after my long, languishing break.
No, Camilla, I can't eat that much cheesecake with impunity. :)
Back to the treadmill after my long, languishing break.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Goal reached!!.....Motivation lost
Remember when I had that goal of working out regularly (4 days a week at least for 25 minutes at least) for three months straight? Remember how I was super pumped-up and how a while back I mentioned that I'd lost a little bit of extra poundage through the whole process?
I forgot to mention that I MET MY GOAL! I EXERCISED REGULARLY FOR THREE MONTHS!!!!
*confetti-throwing*
*raucous shouts of triumph*
*dancing with glee*
Anyway. Enough celebrating. The point of the three months was to make a habit. I did make a habit of working out. The waking-up-early part wasn't as easy to keep, especially given the three weeks that Phill was at BNCOC and the kids were in the bed with me (mysteriously) at 6:00 each morning....and I wasn't about to ruin that with a loud treadmill!
The point is: Even though I met my goal and even dropped about ten pounds in the process (surprise!), I didn't keep the early-waking habit so well, and I took a break after my three months was up.
Don't get me wrong. I felt that a break was deserved and even advisable. But due to some events out of my control (being up in Provo for a couple of weeks off and on) and some events I could have controlled (just getting out the stupid jump-rope or going to Gold's while I was in Provo), I, how should I say, fell off the wagon? I exercised a paltry four times in two weeks. And ate shamelessly, the way I believe one should eat during the holidays....so I'm paying for it. And I've adopted a late-night schedule that isn't helpful at all.
So if I have any resolutions at all this year, it would be to strengthen my resolve in the first place, revive my motivation, and return to my focus on those big matters: getting out of bed at a decent time, reading my scriptures, and knocking that stupid workout out of the way before I can procrastinate it all day!! I refuse to go further than this in my goal-making resolution-enthused headiness that is an integral part of January. I know myself. I know my love of list-making, my tendency to be a sucker for a grand idea. I know that in the past, my downfall was always too many areas of improvement with very specific goals in each. Needless to say, I soared for two days, then plummeted, depressed that I hadn't measured up.
So instead, I'm making an effort to return to what was working before everything was temporarily upside-down. It worked before! It'll work again! And if I can keep those important things at the top of my priorities, everything else falls into place....sparing me the drama of a 12-point list with 4 subtitles per point, The Grand Idea, the Everything Now mistake. Line upon line....a little here, a little there.
So....speaking of resolve? Remember the cheesecake I made? My very first one? You'll be happy to know that it was insanely delicious. Or sad to hear that, if you can envision me polishing off three (okay, four, that last one was HUGE) slices today. And yesterday. Today while I savored the last third-and-fourth piece, I was thinking how great it was that I was doing myself a favor and finishing all the cheesecake, because then I would stop eating it. (Yes, that warped reasoning worked. It always works with a mouthful of cheesecake.) I also decided that I wasn't going to shame myself....because that cheesecake was good, and I made it to eat it! So.....hah! (This is not working. Confessing to all of you and pretending I'm unaffected by it....I'm still quietly flabbergasted at myself! Just play along.)
I haven't been eating only junk, though, rest assured. I made these delicious rolls, and I have learned that I love to make and eat soup. After the broccoli cheese soup, I couldn't help myself. Last night was My Kitchen Cafe's Creamy Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (fantastic), and tonight was a recipe from a pasta cookbook I got 50% off at Barnes & Noble. Oh, it was soooooo good!! Here's the recipe (almost verbatim):
White Bean Soup
from Pasta: 40 Wonderful Classic Pasta Recipes
Serves 4
Beans feature widely in Tuscan cuisine. This smooth, comforting soup, in which beans are simmered for 2 hours, is very simple to make. Garlic and parsley, stirred in just before serving, complement the flavor, and a drizzle of olive oil adds the final touch.
¾ C dried cannelini beans, soaked in cold water to cover overnight (I actually used canned already-soaked beans instead)
1 ½ quarts chicken or vegetable stock
4 oz dried coralline, conchigliette piccote, or other soup pasta (and I just used elbow macaroni; the picture looks like elbow noodles, but ribbed, and lightly curly….the name of which pasta I assume is one of those tongue-twisters listed)
6 Tbsp. olive oil
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
4 Tbsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
salt and pepper
fresh crusty bread, to serve
-Drain the soaked beans and place them in a large, heavy-bottom pan. Add the stock and bring to a boil. Partially cover the pan, reduce the heat, and let simmer for 2 hours, or until tender. (OR just use canned cannelini beans and skip this step entirely.)
-Transfer about half the beans and a little of the stock to a food processor or blender and process to a smooth puree. Return the puree to the pan and stir well to mix. Return the soup to a boil.
-Add the pasta to the soup, return to a boil, and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender.
-Meanwhile, heat 4 Tbsp of the olive oil in a small pan. Add the garlic and cook over low heat, stirring frequently, for 4-5 minutes, or until golden. Stir the garlic into the soup and add the parsley. Season to taste with salt and pepper and ladle into warmed soup bowls. Drizzle with the remaining olive oil and serve immediately with crusty bread.
I forgot to mention that I MET MY GOAL! I EXERCISED REGULARLY FOR THREE MONTHS!!!!
*confetti-throwing*
*raucous shouts of triumph*
*dancing with glee*
Anyway. Enough celebrating. The point of the three months was to make a habit. I did make a habit of working out. The waking-up-early part wasn't as easy to keep, especially given the three weeks that Phill was at BNCOC and the kids were in the bed with me (mysteriously) at 6:00 each morning....and I wasn't about to ruin that with a loud treadmill!
The point is: Even though I met my goal and even dropped about ten pounds in the process (surprise!), I didn't keep the early-waking habit so well, and I took a break after my three months was up.
Don't get me wrong. I felt that a break was deserved and even advisable. But due to some events out of my control (being up in Provo for a couple of weeks off and on) and some events I could have controlled (just getting out the stupid jump-rope or going to Gold's while I was in Provo), I, how should I say, fell off the wagon? I exercised a paltry four times in two weeks. And ate shamelessly, the way I believe one should eat during the holidays....so I'm paying for it. And I've adopted a late-night schedule that isn't helpful at all.
So if I have any resolutions at all this year, it would be to strengthen my resolve in the first place, revive my motivation, and return to my focus on those big matters: getting out of bed at a decent time, reading my scriptures, and knocking that stupid workout out of the way before I can procrastinate it all day!! I refuse to go further than this in my goal-making resolution-enthused headiness that is an integral part of January. I know myself. I know my love of list-making, my tendency to be a sucker for a grand idea. I know that in the past, my downfall was always too many areas of improvement with very specific goals in each. Needless to say, I soared for two days, then plummeted, depressed that I hadn't measured up.
So instead, I'm making an effort to return to what was working before everything was temporarily upside-down. It worked before! It'll work again! And if I can keep those important things at the top of my priorities, everything else falls into place....sparing me the drama of a 12-point list with 4 subtitles per point, The Grand Idea, the Everything Now mistake. Line upon line....a little here, a little there.
So....speaking of resolve? Remember the cheesecake I made? My very first one? You'll be happy to know that it was insanely delicious. Or sad to hear that, if you can envision me polishing off three (okay, four, that last one was HUGE) slices today. And yesterday. Today while I savored the last third-and-fourth piece, I was thinking how great it was that I was doing myself a favor and finishing all the cheesecake, because then I would stop eating it. (Yes, that warped reasoning worked. It always works with a mouthful of cheesecake.) I also decided that I wasn't going to shame myself....because that cheesecake was good, and I made it to eat it! So.....hah! (This is not working. Confessing to all of you and pretending I'm unaffected by it....I'm still quietly flabbergasted at myself! Just play along.)
I haven't been eating only junk, though, rest assured. I made these delicious rolls, and I have learned that I love to make and eat soup. After the broccoli cheese soup, I couldn't help myself. Last night was My Kitchen Cafe's Creamy Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (fantastic), and tonight was a recipe from a pasta cookbook I got 50% off at Barnes & Noble. Oh, it was soooooo good!! Here's the recipe (almost verbatim):
White Bean Soup
from Pasta: 40 Wonderful Classic Pasta Recipes
Serves 4
Beans feature widely in Tuscan cuisine. This smooth, comforting soup, in which beans are simmered for 2 hours, is very simple to make. Garlic and parsley, stirred in just before serving, complement the flavor, and a drizzle of olive oil adds the final touch.
¾ C dried cannelini beans, soaked in cold water to cover overnight (I actually used canned already-soaked beans instead)
1 ½ quarts chicken or vegetable stock
4 oz dried coralline, conchigliette piccote, or other soup pasta (and I just used elbow macaroni; the picture looks like elbow noodles, but ribbed, and lightly curly….the name of which pasta I assume is one of those tongue-twisters listed)
6 Tbsp. olive oil
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
4 Tbsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
salt and pepper
fresh crusty bread, to serve
-Drain the soaked beans and place them in a large, heavy-bottom pan. Add the stock and bring to a boil. Partially cover the pan, reduce the heat, and let simmer for 2 hours, or until tender. (OR just use canned cannelini beans and skip this step entirely.)
-Transfer about half the beans and a little of the stock to a food processor or blender and process to a smooth puree. Return the puree to the pan and stir well to mix. Return the soup to a boil.
-Add the pasta to the soup, return to a boil, and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender.
-Meanwhile, heat 4 Tbsp of the olive oil in a small pan. Add the garlic and cook over low heat, stirring frequently, for 4-5 minutes, or until golden. Stir the garlic into the soup and add the parsley. Season to taste with salt and pepper and ladle into warmed soup bowls. Drizzle with the remaining olive oil and serve immediately with crusty bread.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Soupy weather and cheesiness
The snow that surprised us all here in St.George is long since melted and it was a reasonable 44 degrees today, but I'm still cold! It's the kind of weather that makes me crave soup, so I tried my hand tonight at this broccoli cheese soup from My Kitchen Cafe. It was marvelous, and very easy!
Tonight I'm going to make cheesecake for my very first time (this one, actually). I accidentally bought blackberries instead of blueberries....so I'm not sure what will go over the top--maybe if I like the taste of the blackberries it will be a delicious blackberry cheesecake. Or maybe not. In any case, wish me luck!
Oh, and notice how I am decidedly not posting in a New Year's fashion today? Going against the grain just for the sake of doing so.....but I'm sure a resolve-heavy post will follow soon enough, because really I'm just like the rest of you! :)
Tonight I'm going to make cheesecake for my very first time (this one, actually). I accidentally bought blackberries instead of blueberries....so I'm not sure what will go over the top--maybe if I like the taste of the blackberries it will be a delicious blackberry cheesecake. Or maybe not. In any case, wish me luck!
Oh, and notice how I am decidedly not posting in a New Year's fashion today? Going against the grain just for the sake of doing so.....but I'm sure a resolve-heavy post will follow soon enough, because really I'm just like the rest of you! :)
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