Goal reached!!.....Motivation lost

Remember when I had that goal of working out regularly (4 days a week at least for 25 minutes at least) for three months straight? Remember how I was super pumped-up and how a while back I mentioned that I'd lost a little bit of extra poundage through the whole process?

I forgot to mention that I MET MY GOAL! I EXERCISED REGULARLY FOR THREE MONTHS!!!!

*confetti-throwing*

*raucous shouts of triumph*

*dancing with glee*

Anyway. Enough celebrating. The point of the three months was to make a habit. I did make a habit of working out. The waking-up-early part wasn't as easy to keep, especially given the three weeks that Phill was at BNCOC and the kids were in the bed with me (mysteriously) at 6:00 each morning....and I wasn't about to ruin that with a loud treadmill!

The point is: Even though I met my goal and even dropped about ten pounds in the process (surprise!), I didn't keep the early-waking habit so well, and I took a break after my three months was up.

Don't get me wrong. I felt that a break was deserved and even advisable. But due to some events out of my control (being up in Provo for a couple of weeks off and on) and some events I could have controlled (just getting out the stupid jump-rope or going to Gold's while I was in Provo), I, how should I say, fell off the wagon? I exercised a paltry four times in two weeks. And ate shamelessly, the way I believe one should eat during the holidays....so I'm paying for it. And I've adopted a late-night schedule that isn't helpful at all.

So if I have any resolutions at all this year, it would be to strengthen my resolve in the first place, revive my motivation, and return to my focus on those big matters: getting out of bed at a decent time, reading my scriptures, and knocking that stupid workout out of the way before I can procrastinate it all day!! I refuse to go further than this in my goal-making resolution-enthused headiness that is an integral part of January. I know myself. I know my love of list-making, my tendency to be a sucker for a grand idea. I know that in the past, my downfall was always too many areas of improvement with very specific goals in each. Needless to say, I soared for two days, then plummeted, depressed that I hadn't measured up.

So instead, I'm making an effort to return to what was working before everything was temporarily upside-down. It worked before! It'll work again! And if I can keep those important things at the top of my priorities, everything else falls into place....sparing me the drama of a 12-point list with 4 subtitles per point, The Grand Idea, the Everything Now mistake. Line upon line....a little here, a little there.

So....speaking of resolve? Remember the cheesecake I made? My very first one? You'll be happy to know that it was insanely delicious. Or sad to hear that, if you can envision me polishing off three (okay, four, that last one was HUGE) slices today. And yesterday. Today while I savored the last third-and-fourth piece, I was thinking how great it was that I was doing myself a favor and finishing all the cheesecake, because then I would stop eating it. (Yes, that warped reasoning worked. It always works with a mouthful of cheesecake.) I also decided that I wasn't going to shame myself....because that cheesecake was good, and I made it to eat it! So.....hah! (This is not working. Confessing to all of you and pretending I'm unaffected by it....I'm still quietly flabbergasted at myself! Just play along.)

I haven't been eating only junk, though, rest assured. I made these delicious rolls, and I have learned that I love to make and eat soup. After the broccoli cheese soup, I couldn't help myself. Last night was My Kitchen Cafe's Creamy Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (fantastic), and tonight was a recipe from a pasta cookbook I got 50% off at Barnes & Noble. Oh, it was soooooo good!! Here's the recipe (almost verbatim):
White Bean Soup
from Pasta: 40 Wonderful Classic Pasta Recipes
Serves 4

Beans feature widely in Tuscan cuisine. This smooth, comforting soup, in which beans are simmered for 2 hours, is very simple to make. Garlic and parsley, stirred in just before serving, complement the flavor, and a drizzle of olive oil adds the final touch.

¾ C dried cannelini beans, soaked in cold water to cover overnight (I actually used canned already-soaked beans instead)
1 ½ quarts chicken or vegetable stock
4 oz dried coralline, conchigliette piccote, or other soup pasta (and I just used elbow macaroni; the picture looks like elbow noodles, but ribbed, and lightly curly….the name of which pasta I assume is one of those tongue-twisters listed)
6 Tbsp. olive oil
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
4 Tbsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
salt and pepper
fresh crusty bread, to serve

-Drain the soaked beans and place them in a large, heavy-bottom pan. Add the stock and bring to a boil. Partially cover the pan, reduce the heat, and let simmer for 2 hours, or until tender. (OR just use canned cannelini beans and skip this step entirely.)

-Transfer about half the beans and a little of the stock to a food processor or blender and process to a smooth puree. Return the puree to the pan and stir well to mix. Return the soup to a boil.

-Add the pasta to the soup, return to a boil, and cook for 10 minutes, or until tender.

-Meanwhile, heat 4 Tbsp of the olive oil in a small pan. Add the garlic and cook over low heat, stirring frequently, for 4-5 minutes, or until golden. Stir the garlic into the soup and add the parsley. Season to taste with salt and pepper and ladle into warmed soup bowls. Drizzle with the remaining olive oil and serve immediately with crusty bread.