Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Mommy Mantra #6: I Am Not This Feeling

I needed to remind myself today that I am not Stress, I am not Frustration, I am not Selfishness. I am Rae--who sometimes (or often) feels stress, frustration, or selfish. Enjoy the quote!

"Sometimes feelings set in for extended stays, as with depression. Or for some of us, we have habitual and reflexive ways of dealing with certain events...I am not this feeling [liberates us] from having to react to the situation in [our] old conditioned way. Of course, if you are telling yourself you're an anxious person, you'll act anxiously. One would anticipate angry people to react with anger. But reminding yourself that you are larger than any given emotion offers the potential to react with a greater spectrum of responses. It's easy with the enormous and often uncivilized demands of mothering to overidentify with our emotions and label ourselves as angry, fed up, or stressed. And while these may be a part of who we are at any given moment, the truth is that we are also much more...there is another way of perceiving our emotions and ourselves."


Pages 27 &28, Mommy Mantras by Bethany E. Casarjian, Ph.D. & Diane H. Dillon, Ph.D.

4 comments:

Qait said...

NO WAY! I'm the first to comment???

That's a very useful mantra. Most mantras aren't exactly my style, but this one's perfect. Has it been helping you? I liked that part about the often uncivilized demands of motherhood. Once in a while it's kind of strange to realize "Yes, I actually touched poop today and just washed my hands without really thinking anything of it." Stuff like that...
Michael is sitting by me making up a song about "I'm not this fee-ee-eeling!" It's pretty good! hahahhahhaha "I'm angry but I'm not this feeling! Aaa--AHAH--aaaa...I'm angry but I'm not this...oooh-oooh-oooh....fee-eelin!" He's so funny.
*So is Ender; this morning he'd taken off his shirt and looked so happy with himself, the goof. He's adorable walking around in his sweatpants...

Kristy said...

I agree, very useful, but still difficult to remember in the heat of the moment :) Thanks for the reminder :)

Lara said...

Oh yes. Very good advice. Although, sometimes I think I take it to the opposite extreme and detach myself so much from the feeling that I justify the way I am acting. Because I am not anger. I am just feeling it. Such a difficult balance.

chucknorris said...

I think it would be ok to say you are a feeling if the feeling is love. But that's the only exception I can think of. That's a cool quote. I can't wait to be a mama. ;)