Thursday, December 3, 2009

WHOA is me....

I just would like to say that this is how I feel today:
And I would also like to say, because oh MAN am I feeling it today:
I am longing for the days when the carpet is not used as a toilet by anyone.
I am so mentally/emotionally tired that even writing this post is taking a painful amount of brain cells.
Today was.....today was just in my face. Just WHOA. WHOA there.....steady.
I will sob with joy the first time the kids go more than 30 minutes without some fight about something.
If I still have all my hair by the time I am 27, I will be pleasantly shocked.

And lastly.....
Oh, how I love my children. How they exhaust and challenge and stretch my patience, causing me to have to grow in the most uncomfortable inconvenient ways....and oh, how I love them for it.
And tonight when I finished helping Reed finish his homework (last minute, at 9:00p.m., because we enable each other's slacking tendencies), and he called to me from his room when I was IN THE BATHROOM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and I was so tired and so done that I barked out, "WHAT! I AM IN THE BATHROOM!" and he answered, "Thank you for helping me with my homework".....I almost cried from shame.

It's just that today is one of those days--one of those days when I am weary. So for now, I'm just letting the water works come. It's all good....this too shall pass, within me there is a peacefulness that cannot be disturbed, I am not this feeling, yada yada yada. Sometimes I just need to cry like a baby. And blog like a baby.
*Dear Foleys, thank you for the use of your darling baby in this totally self-piteous post. For the record, he is the cutest crying baby ever--WAY cuter than when I'M crying. :)

9 comments:

Marie Photographie said...

Aww, hope you feel better Rae...nothing better than a good sob. A girl needs it every once in awhile. :)

Christine & Brian said...

You hit it right on the nail, I think all mothers can empathize with you and say, we hope this phase passes. Good luck and go eat some chocolate! :) (That solves most everything right?)

Qait said...

I have had more of those days than I care for lately. And if Michael is trying to help me and says "What do you need? Why are you crying?" (just in case it's something that actually has an explanation), I feel so... I don't know, "off." I've never really liked that part of being woman. Crying just because it has to happen...I'm slowly getting used to it, finally. Sort of. Still hate it, though.
I almost said I wish we could just cry together and it would feel better, but I changed my mind. I much prefer being alone with my ugly crying. Alone feels so good and necessary in those moments.

Qait said...

PS: I have an emergency stash of chocolate kisses (my favorite) for just such occasions. No one else knows where it is (not even Michael, since he's more of a chocoholic than I am).

Anna said...

A good cry, a good sleep, hopefully today is a better day. If not, I highly recommend just loving on your kids for the whole day, no expectation for them or you, just lots of cuddles with your favorite books and/or movies. Find something funny in it, and remember-- This too shall pass. (Too quickly in the end)

Kelly said...

Oh my goodness. I love/hate those moments when kids are so sweet, but they are also the reason for our demise...
and I bet Reed didn't think twice about you yelling at him during his moment of sweetness. That's how kids are. (if you yell at them all the time, anyway. I guess that's just how my kids are. :))

chucknorris said...

awww rae...
you've had a rough day so you just cry... haha.
no really, it's good for you. it's just a release of emotions, just like laughing, if not as enjoyable.
but yeah, im sorry you felt that way even though that's life and we all get that way. it's not fun.
good thing phill is there to help you keep your chin up! go phill!!
and for the record, you're a great mom: valiant and brimming with love with lots of energy to spare. i sound corny so im going to stop but that was sincere what i said right there. just think how when your kids are older and more independent you will be able to see the fruits of your efforts. no more poop on the carpet ever again, unless you get a kitty or puppy or something. :)

Kate said...

It is so totally hard so many many days, but it is really worth it. Some day you will be crying and crying because one of your sons will be leaving for two years to go on a mission and you will wish that he was that tiny child that seemed to make the world so hard. Hang in there, it will get better. Remember the sun always seems to come out tomorrow. Miss ya.

Liz said...

Rae, this post made me laugh and be teary at the same time; I relate, I think you might know that, but I do . . . I know I'm late reading it but it was fun. Thanks for the laugh! and a little cry!