Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Overflowing

I have so so SO much running through my mind right now, I don't know where to start. My grandma died on the 18th, just three days after 58 years of marriage to my grandpa. I am happy that she will feel no more pain; I am resting in the knowledge that she is at peace. I'm grieving, but gently. I'm sad and I miss her, but I have faith and hope that I will see her again. The thing that is hardest for me is thinking of her children and her husband--my grandpa, my aunts and my uncle, my mother--who are left to mourn. Of course I mourn, but I know that my mother's mourning, and the mourning of grandma's other children and husband, is so deep.

I'm still trying to process all that happened last week. Amongst any sadness, there was peace, and there were little reunions happening throughout. (Just the way my grandma would like it, I think. All of us together for Christmas!) I have been thoroughly and tenderly blessed to have seen all my sisters and my brother--my brother I saw four and a half years ago! While in the midst of something that can seem insurmountable, I have been lifted up and nurtured. Phill demonstrated throughout the last week how selfless he is, how protective and how helpful he is. I am blazingly proud to call him my husband. (Seven years yesterday!)

I am grateful, so grateful, to have felt personally the love of a Savior who sees fit to meet my needs through those around me. To Phill, I don't know how to thank you enough for the man you are. To Cara and Jenn, who sent me a sweet and hilarious video to make me laugh away the heaviness. To you blogging friends of mine who frequently email or comment to give support or encouragement, I hope you know how much that means to me. To my neighbors and dear friends Sarah and Merilee, you are angels in human disguise. To my sweet sisters, my tender & wise parents, my gentle cheerful brother--I am honored to be yours. My heart is full to overflowing.

10 comments:

Lara said...

I'm so sorry about your Grandma, Rachel. It doesn't matter how old she was, or how sick she was or how long you were expecting it...it's a huge blow and so hard. I have now lost all of my grandparents and I still miss them every day, especially my one grandmother to whom i was so close.

Love you!

Abby Hanson said...

We are so blessed, aren't we? And that saying that the Lord often answers prayers through the actions of people around us is so true -- look at all the family and friends we have who support us, who buoy us up, who help us smile and laugh. :)

I love you Rae!

Bridget said...

It is a hard thing to lose the ones you love but knowing that they are with our Lord Savior brings comfort. You are in a bittersweet stance where you are mourning the passing of your grandmother but are appreciative from the deep love and faith of your family. I will be thinking of you during this difficult time.

leslie the licorice stick lady said...

Your heart is full for good reasons. The Lord blesses us with these experiences to remind us of what we have: family, friends, the truthful gospel on the Earth...He helps us remember these to not let us forget His love. Have a Happy New year!

Suzanne said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma.
Tell your hubby Thank You for letting Cody come and spend the day with him, it meant a lot to him.
I hope you got to have a great Anniversary.

Christine & Brian said...

I'm so sorry you lost your Grandma Rae. It's hard to be happy they're at peace but still feel sad they're gone. I'm glad you got to see your family though, I hope you guys are doing alright. Happy Anniversary too!

Kate said...

I am so sorry about your grandma. It is so hard. I am so glad that you have found peace. I hope you know that you are loved. I feel so close to you and wish that I had that opportunity before you moved. I hope this new year will be great and wonderful for you.

chucknorris said...

oh rae, i love you too!
we are SO blessed, aren't we!
oh gosh i just love you sooo much.

MAG said...

You are the sweetest thing ever, Rae! I'm so sad we weren't better friends with you when we were in Germany together. I guess a couple of years in age difference kept us running with different crowds. I do remember you and my brother being good friends, though. Lucky him! Anyway! Loved this post. It's been so fun to catch up on here. I've missed your blog. :) Now I'm off to check out your pictures!

Liz said...

Hi Rae. I know I don't often comment but this time I had to: I love you. AND: in church yesterday, a friend I admire greatly bore her testimony. Her mother's mother died last week. She said she helped prepare the body for burial. And she said that in intense experiences, our spiritual sensitivity is turned up. I feel that is true and that it is a part of why you feel overflowing, as you put it--and I have felt the same way. I am also immensely happy to be in the family I am in,surrounded by such grand spirits and so much support.
Again, I love you--immensely, Rae. I'm so glad you're my sister.