waiting

Savanna, Savanna, Savanna....the lyrics to my inner song.

Today marks 30 weeks of pregnancy for me. At my 2:15 appointment, my midwife told me baby is "definitely" head-down, something my aching hips could have told you a week ago. I even put my hand on my belly to examine the pressure that was created when Savanna turned her head slowly from side to side. Side to side...side to side...what I can only guess as the shape of her nose was grazing my hand each time. I always speculate as to the motives of their movement. Was she getting comfortable, or was she trying to feel what my hand was, using the tip of her nose as a measure?

I'm growing increasingly anxious to hold this girl in my arms, and not in my complaining pelvis. I want to exercise and see results. I want to wear normal clothes--size 12 or size 6, who cares? Normal clothes that don't need to be arranged to "fit". I want to sleep without having to pee five times throughout the night. Upon pregnancy with your first, everyone tells you, "Oh, prepare to have no sleep!" But I will tell you--this third time around, I CRAVE that time afterwards....because those little stolen hours of sleep in between feedings are, for me, more solid and satisfying than even a twelve-hour pregnant sleep. I just want two hours. Two hours, please? Two hours of sleep when I don't have to pee and I don't have to blow my nose and I don't have to change position? Two hours of sleep on my stomach....I'm definitely overwhelmed at the thought of having a third child to care for, but that feeling is rapidly being chased away by my need to be comfortable once again.

Did you know that allergy medications simply do not come without "non-drowsy" stamped on the box? Except for Benadryl, which in my case should be marked "sedative which may or may not render muscles and brain useless for eight to twelve hours."