My Family: Reed

You might have noticed an additional name added to the queue at the top of my interviews the last few days. The truth is, it's not additional, it was part of the queue all along.

I sent this in an email to my siblings and a dear family friend a couple of days ago:

Something has been bugging me about my interviews, something that has nothing to do with your answers or anything YOU all did...

I want to address our brother Reed, but I don't. I don't want to deny that he still lives in my memory and that I feel he is still very much a part of my family. But I also feel guarded about what I share about him, because....well, I don't know why. Maybe because it's a subject that sometimes makes me cry...Or maybe because it's a somewhat complicated subject to approach on a blog, and doesn't need to be approached in that forum. But every time I looked at the list of names above our interviews, I felt wrong that I didn't include Reed's up there. Just incomplete and almost like I WAS being in denial or something, or being somehow fake.

The responses from my dear loved ones had one thing in common--they were compassionate and full of good ideas. The gist of what they suggested was--do what you will, we love you. And even better, a couple of them willingly shared memories of my brother Reed with me, memories that make me feel as if he's not really so far away, or that the time between now and when I get to see him again will go fast.

The fact remains that my brother Reed died when I was 9 and he was 17. It is something I don't write about, and don't much blog about except in rather roundabout ways. I don't mind talking about him--I love talking about him; I love him--but my thoughts and feelings for him are something quite personal to me, and....a blog is a very big space in which to disperse such things.

So it follows that I've thought for a long while about what I could possibly say about him, if anything, that would honor his memory and still give you, my dear friends, some idea of who he was. See, I have this bad habit. I tend to avoid talking about or working out things that cause me a less-than-manageable amount of emotional pain. If it hurts, I don't like it. But in the last several months of hard-earned personal growth that I have experienced (through blood, sweat, tears, and prayer), I have (I hope) gotten better at gently examining those things that are not as pretty to think about. Things that aren't comfortable. Things that make me even more vulnerable than I already feel I am. I read a quote a few days ago that hit me to the quick, especially in light of this recent endeavor.

"...[do not] sacrifice hope in order to bury pain. The Lord is the one who can heal all pain, and as we trust Him, He reminds us that we have everything to hope for."

I want to be clear: No matter my earthly pain over losing my brother, I have never and will never lose hope that I will see him again when my spirit leaves my body. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I know that my family will be complete again. My children will know my brother.

And though I know I don't need to publicize this in a public forum to make it real, I am choosing to openly express that I am forever blessed to be Reed's sister, and his life was a masterpiece in its own right.

I could never summarize him--just as I can never summarize my other siblings, and just as most people really shouldn't be summarized in the first place...but I am choosing to share a little of him, and a whole lot of my love for him, and I am pleased to celebrate his life.

* * * * * * *

 

When I was 7 or 8, we had some of that "ancient" computer paper--the really wide, large pieces of paper with the perforated sides? I would take the sides off and make little paper springs by folding them together in alternating squares.


Anyway, one day I decided to make a mailbox using this large computer paper. I taped a piece to my bedroom door, then taped three sides of another to that piece, and wrote on the front in large letters, RACHEL'S MAILBOX. I drew beautiful pictures on it, then sat down in my room to wait. After about five minutes of tense and excited waiting, I realized I hadn't told anyone about it. So I made the rounds through the house, letting everyone know I had a mailbox and if they had any mail for me to please direct it to my mailbox. Then I sat down to wait again.

As the minutes wore on, my patience waned, and my excitement turned to bitter disappointment. I sagged with the letdown. I wandered around the house, forlorn, wondering what everyone could be doing that was so important. I leaned in the doorway of Reed and Isaac's bedroom, where they were bent over their notebooks, drawing and laughing with each other. Reed looked up and quickly assessed my mood. "What's wrong, Rae?" I couldn't help but cry. "No one has given me any mail yet!" Reed smiled and said, "Hey, I bet if you wait just a little longer, you'll get some mail soon!" He sounded so sure that I had to believe him. I took to my room and busied myself with my miniature horses, quietly hopeful. Some time passed, and then--so quiet it was almost unmistakable--phith--the sound of paper against paper. I waited a moment in agony, and then opened the door, slid my hand into the huge sheets of paper and, shaking with joy, pulled out a beautiful piece of art.

He didn't stop there. Long after everyone else had (followed his example and) given me mail, he gave me another note.

And, distraught when I couldn't find these precious pieces of paper some months after his death, I prayed desperately, and my prayer was answered when I found them--intact and beautiful as ever--in one of the drawers of my desk.

I look at those letters from him and I see again the way his eyes lit up when I ran down the stairs and flung my arms around him to thank him. I see his smile and his handsome face, and I remember that though he is far away from me during the rest of my mortal life, his love, his impact, his imprint, never left.

My Family: Isaac

 Madelyn * Kathryn * Me * Abigail * Elizabeth * {Isaac} * Reed

One of my favorite memories with Isaac is when I was probably about 7, and we lived in North Carolina. We were in the living  room, and I had a corner of a blanket held in each hand, flowing out behind me, while Isaac was teaching me how to "fly". He would draw a squirrel flying off the couch in various attitudes, and I would try to replicate what he drew. He and Reed used to call me and Abby "Algae Biscuit" or "Lard Token"....names so obscure and only vaguely insulting, but Abby and I--believe it or not--would fight over who was which one! So Isaac and Reed would laugh to the sounds of, "No, I'M Algae Biscuit!" and "But Isaac said YOU were Lard Token!" One of my favorite things about Isaac is his happiness. In fact, his name means "laughter", and it's completely appropriate! He used to create entire dialogues with a sock monkey I have (once she was Cyndi Lauper and went on Oprah; another time she was a beauty consultant; another time she was wearing a diaper....) He makes beautiful art, beautiful food, and beautiful conversation. He makes my life sweet with his open heart and generous spirit. Isaac:

What brings you most happiness?

Happiness comes to me in its true and pure form from within through my connexion to what I call Holy Spirit, Divinity, and Source, among other names.  I experience happiness as being my own essential nature and the nature of life. Therefore I do not look for or truly find happiness in the outer world of ephemeral manifestation, but rather in the inner world of Being.What would you say is your occupation currently, and/or what would you prefer it to be in the future?

I’m currently working at couple of jobs, including a part time position in the supplement department at a natural foods store and a part time position as a sort of machinist and research consultant with a company that makes water structuring tools.

I also offer nutritional consulting and remote energy healing to preapproved clients.  In the future I will be working to provide exotic alchemical, energetic and/or spiritual supplements. I also anticipate being quite active as a music producer in the coming years, with my own record label called Magnetic Flame.What is your favorite memory with Rae?
Favourite… that’s hard to pin down. She and I have a unique connexion that involves a deep acceptance and appreciation of each other that transcends any particular experience. I remember when she and I used to run together in Hinesville, Georgia; I enjoyed that, and the conversations we had! I remember how intense Rachel has always been, and I love that about her. She has always been kind to me and respectful.

What makes you laugh really hard?

Oh, I laugh a lot. The last time I remember laughing uncontrollably, actually rolling on the floor and squealing and such, was when I was hanging out with my friends Erika and Kae, and we found a video online where two men were studying a rare sort of parrot in the jungle somewhere, and the parrot mounted one of the men and tried to mate with his head. The parrot was up on the back of his neck and was going at him, and its wings were beating his head like crazy, and the man was just tolerating it. The man was british, and instead of listening to the audio of the video, we were listening to – oh, what was it? – it might have been Madonna’s “Like a Prayer,” but I don’t quite remember.

You know, it’s not something that’s easy to predict, what would make me laugh really hard. So often it’s about something being a surprise.
What are three of your favorite family memories?
Spending time together at the fabulous, magical rope swing at Lake Gatun in Fort Espinar, Panama.

Playing “mole” when we were little: making a huge pile of blankets and pillows and crawling around in it.

Visiting places of amazing natural beauty while on road trips.

Our brief stay at Noriega’s guest house in Panama. The house was a bit creepy to me, but the time together as a family was great (not unusual!) and the cliff where the house was situated was an exciting place to be. I enjoyed the drive there.
Come to think of it, I used to really enjoy going on drives and road trips with Mom, Dad, and my siblings. When I was really young I was usually very much in my own imaginary world, which involved imaginary creatures and superhero types.

What do you do to relax?
I like to sit or lie down in a dark quite place and focus on my breathing, then I focus on my heart, and I just let go of all concerns, surrendering all of my cares and needs to Goddess/God.

Three books you love?
Frek and the Elixir, by Rudy Rucker. A really fun science fiction novel.
No Attachments, No Aversions, by Lester Levenson. A book with a spiritual message that resonates with me.
Science and Human Transformation: Subtle Energies, Intentionality and Consciousness by William A. Tiller. A book of brilliant science.

What are two favorites of all the places we've lived as a family?
Panama and Colorado. Both are beautiful, magical, and beloved to me.

What do you love about where you live now?
Many things! I love how green it is, and how many trees there are, and how sweet the spring and summer are, and how the winters are mild but not too mild, and how the sunsets are long in the fall, and the sunrises are long in the spring, and how the days are long in the summer, and the nights are long in the winter. I love the little birds that hang out in the trees in our yard, and the raccoons that live in the backyard, the cats that hang out in the alley, the squirrels that chase each other through the trees, the bumblebees that fly around the flowering mint, the white and pink roses that grow so vigorously every year, the tough blackberry vines and their generosity with their fruit… There are a lot of nice people here too! I could go on and on, but let’s leave it at this.

Tell us about your family (your kids, spouses, people who make your life joyous and full, people you are happy to be surrounded by....)
I have no kids and no spouse. I live with several dear friends and I have a beloved girlfriend. They are all creative people who love music and art.

I have two dear friends, Glee and Reese, who are 7 and 9 years old, and we often play make-believe games on the trampoline. I love these times when we use our imaginations to create characters and stories and entire worlds together.

I have about a dozen core friends who I love dearly.

What does your dream home look like?
My dream home is alive… there are plants all around and within it, and the walls and floor and ceiling are cultured with beneficial microbes. There are lots of soft and inviting surfaces to rest and play on. There are at least two large trampolines built into the house. There is lots of light (mostly natural) and good ventilation. Cats and other animals live there too. There are pianos and other musical instruments available for anyone to play. There is a very well stocked kitchen with excellent appliances such as a Vitamix.

Do you have pets? Tell us about them, and maybe briefly share a memory of one of the pets we had as a family.
I have no pets. Someday I will probably adopt a kitten.

Years ago our family had a turtle for while. I loved that turtle but it didn’t seem right to keep him. We also had some horny toads (actually lizards whose state of sexual arousal was totally ambiguous to me) and I felt like they were unwilling captives as well.

Reed had some mice for a while that kept on having babies. The father kept eating the babies, and Reed eventually fed him to a snake that a neighbour kept.

Of all the pets we ever had, Elroy the Rocket is the most beloved to me. I will always love him! I bonded with him when he was a kitten. When he was little we used to chase each other around the house at night, hiding from each other, and surprising each other with fake attacks. It was so exciting! I remember the sounds of him running across the house at top speed. He’d burst round the corner and fly through the air at me with all four limbs splayed, claws deployed, and then bounce right off me and go run and hide. Then I would find him and pounce on him, grabbing him for just a split-second, and then I would run away so that he could hunt me down again.

What do you like to create? What makes you feel most create-ive?
I love to make music, and to draw, and to make up recipes. I enjoy collaborating with people, especially doing make-believe games with my kid friends on the trampoline, creating amazing adventures together.

What do you love to eat?
Macadamia nuts, green smoothies, cherries, raw chocolate smoothies, weird and exotic novelty items, raw milk, quesadillas with basil and cilantro and avocado, quinoa with vegetables, blueberries….

What is your favorite thing about where you are right now? (This can be Where You Are as in the state or city you're in, or Where You Are as in what your life is like, etc...)
Oh, I love that I am in a place where I feel loved and loving, thankful and appreciated, easeful, happy, abundant and content, and connected to Divinity.

P.S.-If you think of something more you want to share/add, feel free! I have no problem with that.

Okay… Words that describe qualities that I cherish in my family:

• Silly and Playful
• Caring, Loving, Kind
• Intelligent
• Humble
• Beautiful
• Sincere
• Courageous

That’s it! Thanks for asking.

With love and care,
Isaac A. Boatright

 

My Family: Liz

Madelyn * Kathryn * Me * Abigail * {Elizabeth} * Isaac * Reed

Liz is a dynamic balance of gentle and kind and determined and brave. Like me, she cries when happy or touched or sad or mad or tired or laughing--and that might be one of my favorite things about her! She ran track in high school, and was fast and fluid, "like the wind", my dad said. She did French braids, ponytails, and all other manner of hairstyles for her four younger sisters, and she painted our nails. She once memorized a passage of the book Matilda (for a speech class?) and let me tell you, her rendition of the Trunchbull was oddly spot-on, coming from our loving Liz. (Still waters run deep.) Liz was usually first on the scene when any of us cried, most likely to be behind the scenes helping things run smoothly, and last to leave a laughing session. She was, and always has been, just what I needed. Liz:

What brings you most happiness? Trying to follow Jesus!

What would you say is your occupation currently, and/or what would you prefer it to be in the future? Homemaker currently; future: homemaker and published author, counselor/therapist

What is your favorite memory with Rae? Hard to pick only one; first one that comes to mind is laughing at the cats outside our window in La Maisiere, the Belgium guest house.

What makes you laugh really hard? Rae! Seriously! This one story she told me . . . well, I don't know if she wants it posted . . . also, I like Brian Regan . . . [Liz, what is this story?]

What are three of your favorite family memories? (Long, short, silly, otherwise--whichever) not in any order: 1-going to a movie as a family & then all of us leaving together b/c it was inappropriate; it helped me feel secure & learn to be less afraid of what other people thought of me/us  2-the tree house, rope swing, and Lake Gatoon in Panama! 3-going to Dad's office for Halloween, camping out watching movies and eating candy Dad bought for us

What do you do to relax? I put my ear buds in and listen to nice music, hold really still (if possible), and/or read and escape into a book.

Three books you love (and why, if you feel like typing that out) To Kill a Mockingbird, Huckleberry Finn, and Bonds That Make You Free.

Two favorites of all the places we've lived as a family Panama (I was eleven. Blissfully unaware of political drama with eyes only for the flora and fauna)  and Colorado (I was in my prime! 11th grade)

What you love about where you live now The Wichita Mountains aren't far; we go often, hike, boulder, and rock climb. It is so quiet and peaceful. Except when you see a buffalo really close--that's an amazing experience but I wouldn't call it quiet or peaceful exactly . . . I love the quiet neighborhood, the laidback feel of the people here, the great people I have met, through school, church, and at the library.

Tell us about your family (your kids, spouses, people who make your life joyous and full, people you are happy to be surrounded by....) Eleven years ago, with absolutely zero doubts and a soaring heart I married Patrick Edward Davis, who has helped me be a better person and made me laugh. We have four children-Seth, 9, Josh, 7, Claire, 5, and Andrew, 3. People who make my life joyous and full? My friends and family!! I feel blessed with true, good friends, everywhere I have lived, which was a lot of places. I sorely miss my dear friend Marguerite, who I moved away from in San Antonio, and I currently have a special friend here in Oklahoma by the name of Melissa!

What does your dream home look like?Seriously I feel like my current home is a dream home to me! I guess in the future I'll change a few things but I don't really think about it much b/c I feel so content!

Do you have pets? Tell us about them, and maybe briefly share a memory of one of the pets we had as a family. Not yet--hoping for a kitten! One day! And maybe a small, cute, nice dog that's already potty trained?

What do you like to create? What makes you feel most create-ive? I like to create stories, poems, puns, things with words . . . I think what makes me feel most creative is writing a really good well-organized essay or journal entry.

What do you love to eat? Pretty much anything--I do love to eat! I guess I don't love things that are too spicy, and I really have not acquired a taste for Brussels sprouts yet.

Liz lives in Oklahoma [where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain, and the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet] with her husband, Pat, and their four kids.

My Family: Abby

Madelyn * Kathryn * Me * {Abigail} * Elizabeth * Isaac  * Reed

Abby doesn't like to be summarized (who does, really?), but she doesn't mind being explained. She can usually be found reading, organizing, making a list, making delicious food, homeschooling her wonderful daughters, spending down-time with her brilliant husband, playing the piano, or laughing so hard that she cries. She shares with me a secret and somewhat-embarrassing love of Twilight movies, and an unabashed love of: all things birth and babies, young adult literature, new recipes, selective shopping, and dark chocolate. We also share obstinance, over-thinking, and Middle Child tendencies, which may or may not be a reason for a rather rocky year or two of our adolescent years of sisterhood. (Or maybe it's just because we were adolescents, which is both a word and stage that I hated.) Abby and I call each other just about every day, for reasons ranging from big {hey, I'm coming to visit!} to non-existant {hi. I just called to say that. So. Hi.}, and she has been the patient, ever-present witness to my growing-up, even the most painful aspects. If I could put ear-plugs in her ears so she wouldn't hear me summarize her in this one word, I would say that word is: Constant.  

So. Without further ado. Abby:

What brings you most happiness?

At this point in my day? I'd say having my girls in bed and getting a chance to hang out with Eric (usually watching TV).

During the day - knocking things off my to-do list and those moments where I actually manage to really enjoy the girls! (This is a fine art I am still striving to perfect. If you have kids, you know what I mean. If you don't, someday you will.)

Overall?? My family and living the gospel. :D

What would you say is your occupation currently, and/or what would you prefer it to be in the future?

My current occupation is like many other moms. I'm a professional chauffeur, housekeeper, psychologist, chef, and schoolteacher.

I have thoughts of a piano studio full of young students and am excited about the latest curriculum I'll be checking out. In the future, I have my sights on finishing school with a degree in Elementary Music Education. Strangely enough, I have no desire to teach in a traditional school with a degree like that, but I'd love to teach groups of kids on a private basis or at a charter school.

Sometimes I dream of completing a degree in nursing and then a Master's in Midwifery to be a Certified Nurse Midwife, but I don't know. I can't do everything as much as I would love to and music calls to me a little (maybe just a little) bit stronger.

What is your favorite memory with Rae?

Favorite? That's hard. What about favorite funniest memory with Rae? Oh wait...maybe those are a little too embarrassing for her (and me!) if I were to share them. Hahaha. One word Rae -- ballet. Can you think of a way to share that story without embarrassing us? Don't forget the egg.

One to share with everyone else...

I'm at a loss. Rae was with me everywhere we went. Aside from a short time where we didn't get along (blame hormones), there are just so many memories! I remember that when we lived in North Carolina, in the purple house, for some unknown reason I loved walking down the street to visit an elderly couple. I don't know why. It was really unusual considering all the other things I did with my time. But I remember Rae liked to go with me to visit Bob, Hazel, and their poodle (ack! urg! poodles?!), Dolly.

I love remembering playing at Grandma's with Rae. But I can't think of the words to describe it and make it sound as amazing as it was. If you've read Rae's essay (Rae, link here!) "June in Junction", you'll get an amazing picture of the things we did. (My, I'm not very verbose tonight, am I?)

What makes you laugh really hard?

Farting so loud at night that I woke myself up! I still crack up when I remember this. The best part was that at first I didn't realize it was ME. "Wha? What was that?" Bwaahhahaa! (Us Boatrights and bodily humor...never failed to disrupt us while trying to gather for family prayer....poor mom and dad...)

Conversations with my four year old.

E: As she walks down the hall, "Ah! Someone keeps giving me wudgies (she means "wedgies")."

E: "Ugh! Someones's still giving me wudgies. Oh! It's me!"

Watching my one year old get dressed, in everyone else's clothes.

Hearing my one year old catch on to different phrases and how to use them.

B: "Mom, watch."

B: "Mom, I want that. Now."

What are three of your favorite family memories?

1. I love remembering the short time we lived in New Jersey (9 months). Being a family of nine made it hard finding places that fit us all and the military put us up in a duplex and cut a doorway into one of the walls to join the two apartments. It felt like something out of a story. Two kitchens. Lots of rooms. And Reed, our oldest brother, slept in the kitchen on a cot and liked to wash his laundry in the dishwasher and buy his own ice cream to have handy in his own freezer.

2. I used to love going on road trips as a family. Our trusty old van, Beulah, was perfect for our big family. Eight seats, and a huge back section for cargo. Our dad built a frame in the back to fit luggage underneath and then he placed a thin mattress on top. I don't think we could get away with it nowadays, but we would climb back there and play on the mattress on our long road trips. It was up at window level too, which must have looked strange to passersby. Isaac coined his own version of the round, "Scotland's Burning" on one of those road trips. We loved to sing and we loved to sing familiar things. That meant lots of repetition! We used to sing "Scotland's burning, Scotland's burning, Look out, Look out, Pour on water, Pour on water, Now it stops, Now it stops." Is that a really old round or does anyone else know it? ANYWAY...Isaac's version went like this:

Broken record, broken record

Repeat, Repeat

Lift the needle, Lift the needle

Now it stops. Now it stops.

I am amazed at our Mom & Dad's patience on trips like that. I daydream about taking our kids on long roadtrips (longer than a day), but doubt it'll ever become a reality. I am remembering through the rose colored glasses of a child. [I, Rae, would like to add that although we had pretty lax rules about the mattress in the back (SO COOL), my mom also did Seat-Belt Checks every half-hour....she'd call out, "Seat-Belt Check!" and if you were buckled up, you'd get a mini snickers or a couple of Starburst. Once I kept my seat belt on for two hours straight and ended up with a huge wad of Starburst that I shaped into one giant ball. Abby was grossed out beyond belief.]

3. The Christmas before I got married, we all spent the holiday at Grandma & Grandpa's in Junction. We played so many board games. The highlight of that visit was playing Clue. Isaac started it really. He decided to make a "chart" of some sort that would help him figure out cards he hadn't even seen by writing down the suggestions of others and taking careful note of who could and couldn't prove them wrong. It caught like wildfire and we all slaved away trying to come up with our own style of charts to help us win the game. It made for a fun (if long, as we updated our charts) game of Clue! [P.S.-Isaac cheats at Monopoly.]

What do you do to relax?

Play the piano, watch TV, read books. Eat chocolate.

What are three books you love?

I read such a variety of books. But the main uniting factor of most of the books I read at this stage in my life can be summed up this way -- compelling and engaging stories (whether real or not). Three favorites that come to mind are:

1. Left to Tell -- the truly amazing (TRUE) story of a woman who discovered God amidst the Rwandan Holocaust

2. These is My Words -- a wonderful story based on the author's grandmother's life, but fiction. It's been a year since I read it and it still sits with me. I like to think over it and remember all the details. I loved finding all the things I felt I could relate to, with the main character, Sarah. I loved reading about such a strong woman. It made me want to be stronger myself.

3. The Lonesome Gods -- a classic. And yet, it's Louis Lamour! Fun, huh? So good. What a story. What depth in the characters.

I just love a good story.

What are two of your favorites of all the places we've lived as a family?

Panama

Germany 

What do you love about where you live now?

fresh fruit my neighbors bring me

winter that feels like spring and sometimes summer

5 1/2 hours away from my Rae

living close to the Happiest Place on Earth

having annual passes to the Happiest Place on Earth

a backyard with a swing set, monkey bars, and playhouses for the girls

Tell us about your family.

My family is awesome. We're a little crazy, but we have a good time. Eric and I have four girls who manage to be very girlie while simultaneously being very "boy". Anyone who thought they only had to worry about boys breaking windows or causing destruction around the house -- hasn't met my girls. But on the flip-side, they are also the sweetest, cuddliest, girliest, girls you've ever met. I can't believe how old they're getting to be already. Autumn turns TEN this year and loves all things Harry Potter. She is in 3rd grade but already reading the fifth Harry Potter book. Heidi turns EIGHT this year and is obsessed with Hello Kitty. Really obsessed. Like squeal at the store when you see anything Hello Kitty, kind of obsessed. Esther turns FIVE this year and will start kindergarten. She loves playing violin and Tinkerbell. Becca turns TWO very soon. She is a joy. And a little spitfire. Eric is almost done with school. He's been in school since before I met him. 1996 to 2011 with breaks in between for a mission and working (and thinking school was not what we wanted). This December he will graduate from USC with a doctorate degree in Vocal Performance. WE will graduate with a doctorate, I should say.

What does your dream home look like?

My dream home doesn't look like anything in my mind yet. Currently, it's a bullet list of all the things I want in it. Oh wait, sometimes I joke with my friend Melissa that her house IS my dream house. We tell them to let us know when they're ready to leave because we'll be more than willing to move in. So here's the bullet list, if you're still here reading...

- an entryway

- a "doored" (what's the word for that?!) music room/studio off the entryway

- master bedroom a half floor up from the main floor

- a crawlspace/playspace under the stairs that leads to the master bedroom

- an open family room/kitchen/dining room plan

- guest space

- a laundry ROOM (not hallway, not section of kitchen)

And really, I think that about sums it up! Not too much to ask for, right? Someday, I'll find out...

Do you have pets? Tell us about them, and maybe briefly share a memory of one of the pets we had as a family.

We have two cats, Louis - as in Louis Armstrong, and yes, he's black, and yes, I know -- not very PC. Deal with it. We're musicians. And Izzy. Short for Isabella. The female lead in the opera Eric was in when we got her. Louis is everyone's cat. Autumn is Izzy's person. They are a lot of fun.

Growing up, we were definitely a cat family although we did have the occasional bird, dog, mouse, and hamsters. I think Elroy won a spot in every one of our hearts though. He is the only cat that was as "pro" as he was at detecting raw emotion. He just knew when someone needed a little extra love. We got that from other cats we owned, and I get that from our own cats now -- but never to the degree that Elroy did. He was really special that way.

What do you like to create? What makes you feel most create-ive?

I like to create

Lists.

And order.

Do I get to keep things that way?

No.

But I'll take one out of two.

It's interesting that what I "like to create" and "what makes me feel most creative" are not the same things! I feel most creative when I'm with the girls doing science experiments, crafts, drawing, doing art, or playing creatively (forts, masking tape trains...).

What do you love to eat?

Chocolate. Fruit. Salads that work as your entire meal. Homemade bread. Big, delicious sandwiches. Usually on french bread.

What is your favorite thing about where you are right now?

My brain is really winding down now. I'm amazed that I've made it this far in one sitting. At church I feel like I have ADD/ADHD because I can barely concentrate on the lessons. That's what happens when you spend all day with kids and kids' attention spans. And spend more than a year serving with the kids in Church. So...I'm calling this one already covered by the earlier question that is similar, although slightly different. :D

Lastly, will you explain a family phrase of ours, which is: "Psst....Bernard. Pass it on."

We have a secret code in our family. I know it started with Reed, but I'm not sure if he thought it up himself or if it came from a book. [I think my mom said that the boys needed a non-embarrassing way to say I Love You in front of friends?] But he would lean over and whisper, "Pssst. Bernard. Pass it on."

Bernard = I love you

We've kept up the tradition for years.

On a semi-related note, we also had a secret password for opening the door if we didn't recognize someone at the door. It went like this:

Person at the door: "Who killed Amalickiah?"

Person waiting: "Teancum."

The other day I was telling the girls about whether we wanted to use it in our own little family or make up our own.

Esther said chimed in, "How about -- who killed the babies?"

??!! Oh, wait...

We also just started studying the New Testament as a family and had just finished our scripture reading for the morning. We had just read about Herod killing all the babies when he couldn't find Jesus.

How's that for a secret code? I think it sure would throw people off. No scriptural names to go from either. So no worries that someone would know Amalickiah's killer but have poor intentions. I kind of like it.

Abby lives in California and blogs at Business As Usual

My Family: Qait

Madelyn * {Kathryn} *  Me * Abigail * Elizabeth * Isaac * Reed

Qait, who is married to a gorgeous man (in and out), lives in Utah, and is pregnant with her second child, loves to: play legos, have alone time, draw, play her harp, read, laugh, make food for loved ones, engage in quiet and usually-harmless rebellion, snack in secret, and make up songs with Maddie, amongst other things. She entertained a Barbie obsession in her younger years, but not one you might expect....her obsession was with popping off the HEADS of Barbies...and she got sent home from our dear friends' house a few times because of it. (Years later, she and Maddie would invent a game called Bop the Barbie. We'd set up the Barbies on the island countertop, their chins holding them up, their heads the only part visible above the edge of the counter, and throw beanbags at them from far away.) One last fascinating fact about Qait is that while I can definitely see her joining the ranks of the likes of Elizabeth Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, were she born in a different decade, she's also rife with Martha Stewart/June Cleaver tendencies that (I believe) round her out just beautifully. (Lurv you, Q.)

What brings you most happiness?

Fulfilling my role as a wife and mother; there are comparable things, an example being the creation of music, and I find a lot of reasons to be happy in life, but those two things are the highest on the list because being the best mother and wife I can be helps me feel more and more like the divine daughter of God I am.  

What would you say is your occupation currently, and/or what would you prefer it to be in the future?

I am definitely a fully occupied mother. And I do think that's awesome! But I love my hobbies! I am a harpist, and that is a great passion of mine. I'm also a beauty consultant, and that's more fun than I would have imagined! I feel quite ambitious and want to someday do more; I want to illustrate children's books, I want to learn the fascinating sciences of food and become an expert on nutrition and cooking, I would love to learn more about interior design and even clothing fashions, and with those skills I would be content if I only used them to sew my own clothing and decorate my home.  

What is your favorite memory with Rae?

This is a hard question you ask!!! :) I have so many, but the most precious memories to me begin with the night we couldn't find Isaac. We held each other on your top bunk and cried. We also prayed, and we both comforted each other with our faith and inexplicable trust that Isaac would be alright. That is a very tender memory. A lot of my favorites include times that we comforted each other, either by laughing together or crying together or even being bitter together (just for the sake of having sympathy and sharing honest feelings). There were lots of times that we went on "adventures" together, and I remember relishing your cautious nature because it made me feel even more brave-- I knew I impressed you with my fearlessness, and I loved it. It gave me a chance to feel like a leader.

What comes to mind right now is that for a while in Colorado we liked to walk to the curb together and watch the sunset. I loved being with you. I felt honored when you included me, because I thought everything you did was fun and interesting. One night we even took a thermos of soup or chili to the curb, with Mom's permission, and I felt like our little walk to look at the sunset was a really special time together. We didn't talk much, and it was perfect.

One more thing, brought to mind for its similar time period and feelings. We often biked or walked together to an old, seemingly abandoned fire station where there was a soda machine which for some reason only held orange and grape soda. Each only cost a quarter, which made us feel rich and independent. When we got there, you'd always have me pick first so you could pick the other soda. And I always wanted to pick your favorite--just to be like you--but in the end, without fail, I got grape and you got orange. And we'd sit by a ditch close by and share sips. 

What makes you laugh really hard?

I will be honest: gas. It just does.

But also, Michael makes me laugh-- he is really funny when he wants to be! And I laugh with my sisters, always, and perhaps even more with Isaac. It's almost like anything Isaac does can make me laugh, maybe because it makes him laugh too. Belly laughs! I also love to laugh with my parents. And I love to make other people laugh--sometimes that's even more satisfying!  

What are three of your favorite family memories? (Long, short, silly, otherwise--whichever)

1. One I think of quite often is when Isaac and all of us girls played in the snow in the front yard of our house in Colorado. We made a grandma snowman, who had little snowballs packed around her head for hair or curlers. And we all tried to make an igloo, but we gave up when it collapsed in middle, and we tried to then make it into a slide. That turned into more of a throne, and we plopped Maddie on top of it and pretended she was a queen. It was all so invigorating and fun, and we laughed together and played for a very long time before coming in for cocoa and blankets.

2. The guesthouse in Germany-- I specifically love that time because I recognized it as a peaceful time for us all, when I had expected to be frightened and lonely in Germany. Things felt orderly to me because I did my chores and was careful to read in my scriptures and pray every day. I knew it made a difference. And I loved the way everyone seemed to feel on vacation, relaxing together as if it were summer instead of winter. That was a delightful Christmas, with our skimpy tree and beautiful German ornaments (I loved the fact--perhaps too much--that they had been purchased from the store "Katie Wolfhart," and I said that name as often as I thought I could get away with it).

3. BOOBY TRAPS! This is maybe cheating. I love ALL of our booby traps memories, and I've always loved how that tradition sets us apart from other families. We had particularly special Christmases because of it, and I think it's one way I've remembered each Christmas from year to year. I loved the way we kids planned together and banded for the special event. I loved the challenge, and I loved having assigned buddies for what felt like a secret mission. Sneakiness was my forte, I thought, and I loved a chance to explore it. I also loved the way we had so much fun together with it, every single time.

What do you do to relax?

Almost invariably, I snuggle down in a comfy seat with a book. Even better when I have food with that book. I do not choose to nap for relaxation, even though I often need it--napping annoys me because I feel like it's such a waste of time. I'd rather waste time while being awake. I also love to watch movies while cuddling with Michael. That's always very relaxing.  

Three books you love?

It should be obvious, but I'll point it out anyway, that I love SO MANY books that these aren't necessarily the top of my list.

1. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver - I felt like it changed me life. I felt so deeply affected by it, as if I'd lived in Africa as one of the daughters (any of the daughters-- I related to each in some way or other).

2. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden - Again another book that seemed to transport me to its place of occurance (Japan). The narration is honest in a very deeply poetic way. As with the Poisonwood Bible, I felt like my mind had been expanded. I felt like my wisdom had grown as well as my understanding of the human heart and soul. Sometimes that's what does it for me in a book-- I love to learn more about people and why they live the way they do, why they think what they think, how they feel about life and how their understanding of life came to what it is.

3. A Northern Light by Jennifer Dosselly - This is a very recent read of mine. I relish honest writing, and this book was full of it. It was beautifully pulled together, made into a complete story not by a perfectly happy ending but by how real the character's feelings were. I understood her, and I understood her reactions to the sometimes jarring things she learned about life.

What are two favorites of all the places we've lived as a family?

Colorado and Belgium. I have so many wonderful memories revolving around Colorado! I loved our home, I loved my sense of freedom in our neighborhood, and I really, really loved being a child there. It was a perfect childhood-piece of life.

Belgium resonates with my introverted ways. I actually love the grey days, the rain and the wetness. I love the ancient buildings. I love, love, love the somber and mellow landscape, the lazy b'jours of the people, and the quiet feeling of walking down an endless road that seems almost handmade in its meandering path, surrounded by wetly bright green meadows. If I painted a picture of my inner character, the part of me that loves to ponder and say nothing, Belgium is me.  

What do you love about where you live now?

I am in my own home (well, apartment, but it counts). I love that my home reflects my desire to create an orderly environment where the Spirit is felt and where there is kindness. Beyond my home, I love that we live close to a lot of "things to do" or "places to go." We are friends with our neighbors, we live across the street from the church. There's more opportunity to be social than I've felt existed before, and it seems perfect for our stage of life. Oh, plus, I love that I have learned how to navigate really well. I don't really get lost--makes me feel powerful. :)

Tell us about your family (your kids, spouses, people who make your life joyous and full, people you are happy to be surrounded by....)

Michael and I met the "traditional" Mormon way: at BYU-I, in class. But we're cool and different, I promise. ;) We met because I needed a ride, and a guy friend of mine, eager to help me, found me a ride with Michael. Goodbye, eager friend! Thank you forever! It's a delightfully long story, actually...
Michael is getting his Masters in composition at BYU now. He has no shortage of original ideas, and his professors have great expectations of him. We have a son we call Ender, who is almost 3. Ender is a witty little boy-- he loves to make us laugh, and he does it often. One of my favorite characteristics to observe in him is that he loves order and obedience. Ender tries to obey us even when it is really, really hard for him. You can see the struggle on his face. But it's important to him and always has been. He loves to clean his room and line his toys up-- he feels a little bit miffed when things are untidy. He's a good helper. I'm so glad, too, because I know I'll need his help more than ever when we have another baby this summer! Hooray! The name's picked out already: Austuvious Galnutt Wourmberg Derdills Wahlquist XVI. (I know we do not indeed have 15 preceding Austuviouses, but the XVI looks so cool, don't you think?)

What does your dream home look like?

My dreamhouse is always evolving, but it will be a beautiful one that Michael and I will build, and it will be a place where kids can play and easily feed their imagination, music will be a big part of everything, beautiful gardens will surround the house, and delicious food will fill the kitchen. I have already put a lot of love into the dreamhouse.

Do you have pets? Tell us about them, and maybe briefly share a memory of one of the pets we had as a family.

I do not have pets. I'd love to have a couple kittens. Hey, who knows? Maybe this pregnancy will surprise us! HAHAHA! Just kidding... I loved my kitty Nigel. I even call Ender by that name sometimes! :| Oops... Anyway, Nigel was so weird! I loved it! He had the chortliest meows and the babyest face. Sometimes he was maybe a little annoying, but never in a bad way. Just when I had to go the bathroom, and he'd stand in the doorway looking at me like he was waiting for permission to come in so he could drink water from the tap. Sheesh. YES, come in, NOW. Weirdo. But! I love this sneaky memory of our cat Spiffy: one day, well, one of the many days that I felt scissor-happy (by the way, I was probably 5 or something), I decided that Spiffy didn't really need such long whiskers. I thought they should line up nicely instead of stick out all funny. So I wrestled her to the ground and snipped a side. She got away before I could finish the haircut. And Mom came to me later, saying quite suspiciously, "Qait...did you cut Spiffy's whiskers?" I said "No! I noticed they look funny, though, don't they? Maybe they grew in funny this time..." (Mm-hm, not fooling anyone)

What do you like to create? What makes you feel most create-ive?

Well, I love to draw something from an original and funny idea. Doodling is really satisfying in that way. But I also take great pleasure in cooking meals very well. I love to bake and cook, and I even like to experiment with either inventing recipes or finding out what makes a recipe better. I enjoy doing different "looks" with my makeup, as if my face is a canvas ready for painting (it's really one big reason I enjoy makeup, rather than for the sake of covering my face or something). I love thinking of fun ways to play with Ender. That always leaves me feeling invigorated and brilliant.  

What do you love to eat?

Hah. Right now? Food is kind of stupid because I need it all the time. But that's okay, I won't complain. When I'm more my normal self, I first of all love the act of eating. It's very comforting, almost regardless of the food. I suppose I have favorites, though! I love to eat chocolate ice cream, popcorn, or Italian food. Or...chips. Or fruit, mmmm. And it's always better with a good book. Besides all of that, though, I really love to eat a good meal that I've prepared. That's a very good feeling, most especially when I'm sharing the meal with family or friends (I guess because I'm proud of it...) 

What is your favorite thing about where you are right now? (This can be Where You Are as in the state or city you're in, or Where You Are as in what your life is like, etc...)

Since I talked about where I am locally already, I'll talk about ... spiritually, more like. I am so happy. I feel like I'm in a time where my growth is constant, or at least consistent. I love the feeling of progress. I feel very forgiving of my faults, and I feel very encouraged by friends and family...I feel very confident with who I am, even with the humility of realizing I've got far to go. This feeling, of not being consumed with ME, is very ...peaceful, relaxing. I feel like I have the mental space to care for Michael and Ender better than before.  

One last thing: We (the readers) want to know how your name came to be spelled the way it is! (Q-a-i-t, instead of K-a-t-e) When I was 13, I went through a variety of spellings...some were definitely inadvisable. Maddie's favorite to tease me about is "Keyte." She called me Keet for about a week or two...or three...

But during the month or so that I played around with the spelling, it was to have fun with it. I like wordplay, and I liked the idea of seeing how many ways I could logically spell my name. I didn't feel an identity crisis, that wasn't it. I honestly love my full name (and my mom's only request was that I not try to reinvent my full name's spelling, which was perfectly fine with me. I really was just aiming for a twist on my nickname).

I'd been emailing my brother Isaac pretty regularly (like I do now, actually), and I had signed my emails with a new spelling each time. Then one day, he emailed me with his own spelling: QAIT.

And I LOVED it! It's so fun to me that I've kept it up since then! And "Q" has become an affectionate nickname for me that I feel fits me really well somehow.

  

Q blogs at Qaptain Mommypants

My Family: Maddie

 {Madelyn} * Kathryn * Me * Abigail * Elizabeth * Isaac * Reed

Madelyn is currently a student at BYU-Hawaii. She likes Reese's Puffs cereal, reading my old journals, creating art, original humor, laughing, sleeping with soft & cushy blankets, exploring new places, and probably likes long walks on the beach. ;) She's a winning combination of sass and sweetness, which I imagine has been instrumental in her beautiful handling of being the youngest of the family. She's our baby, and usually she doesn't mind. She's full of surprises, starting with her birth, when we were all convinced she was a boy. (My mom was most convinced.) She is also the only other girl in the family who has brown eyes, and once I saw her newborn self, all pink and new in the bassinet, I was perfectly okay with sharing the title of "Daddy's Brown-Eyed Girl".

What brings you most happiness? Feeling people’s love and loving them back

What would you say is your occupation currently, and/or what would you prefer it to be in the future? Currently I’m a student, and in the future I hope to have a job that’s quirky and exciting and teaches me lots of new things. For example: lumberjack supervisor (a real job!)

What is your favorite memory with Rae? (my secret selfish motive comes to light) What ISN’T a favorite memory with Rae?  Here’s one: one time in belgium, me and rae were throwing big rocks into this pond just for fun. i was 8 and she was 15. while we were throwing rocks this grumpy guy came out of his house and started yelling at us in french. i was really scared. rae understood some french so she told me he was saying that we shouldn't throw the rocks in the pond because it will block the pipes. i don't know the rest really, it's kind of vague. rae probably remembers this better. i just remember thinking rae was really cool for knowing what he said and that afterwards when we left and i said i didn't like him because he scared me and hurt my feelings the way he yelled at me (and i had no idea what i'd done wrong) she was totally consoling.

What makes you laugh really hard? Tons of things make me laugh! But I tend to laugh really hard when I’m hangin out with friends and one of us or all of us does something funny, or when I watch a good show or youtube video.

What are three of your favorite family memories? (Long, short, silly, otherwise--whichever)

Hmm... I will just choose the first 3 that come to the top of my mind since this is kind of a tough one. Family memories... 1. We went to Denmark together. We saw Hans Christian Anderson's museum, we went to Legoland (SO FUN!), we saw the statue of the Little Mermaid, we had mind blowingly yummy ice-cream, and we rode and slept overnight on a Ferry. Plus, Qait got ice-cream on our car window and we left it there for years. We thought it was hilarious. 2. This summer we all got together at Grandma Garmann's house. Everybody was sick, except for Isaac. Healthy invincible Isaac, haha! Us girls stayed up one night in Mom's hotel room all together on the bed talking and laughing. 3. Um.... I know! When we were living in Hinesville Georgia, Isaac came to visit us for a while! :D He got to meet Rae's squeeze, Phill, and we had tons of fun drawing, playing with toads in the backyard (who died in the hot tub) and eating too much cinnamon toast. :)

What do you do to relax? Take a nap, go to the beach, make dinner, zone out, get on the computer, watch TV… anything different from the unrelaxing thing that I AM doing.

Three books you love 1. The Count of Monte Cristo- It’s the coolest story ever, and it’s also the longest book I’ve ever read. I had to read it for school, and I felt so accomplished when I was done! 2. Slumdog Millionaire- I couldn't put it down! 3. The Outsiders- I know it's popular and that bugs me because to me I feel like I loved it first. This book makes me cry and it makes me happy at the same time because of the struggles the main characters face but also the relationships they have with each other

Two favorites of all the places we've lived as a family? 1. Belgium (fun time, lotsa good memories, beautiful place) 2. Japan (I learned a lot and grew a lot there, made some wonderful friends there, and experienced lots of cool new things!)

What do you love about where you live now? My roommates are nice and my house is right across from the beach! Oh yeah!

Tell us about your family (your kids, spouses, people who make your life joyous and full, people you are happy to be surrounded by....)

My friends are awesome. My closest friends are Amanda, Becca, and Brandon. Amanda and Becca are so dear to me. I can tell them anything and I always feel good around them. They help me to be closer to Christ and I know they're both strong in the gospel. At the same time, we laugh together so much and do so many silly things... every Sunday we have make dinner together. It's a tradition I wouldn't give up for the world. Brandon takes me surfing a lot and actually does a lot of favors for me. His house is always available if I have nowhere else to go (they invited me there on Thanksgiving!) He has a car which has come in handy, and right now I'm using his bike since mine was stolen or something. I just feel close to him because I feel like we understand each other well, and I think he's a really fun and sweet guy. We've had plenty of interesting talks.

What does your dream home look like? (maybe this question looks superficial, but I'm actually really curious about each of your answers to this one, since my own answer is pretty solidly cemented in my mind) 

My dream home isn't something I daydream about often. Maybe that will happen when I actually buy my own home. Something cozy and clean and warm, with lots of people inside.

Do you have pets? Tell us about them, and maybe briefly share a memory of one of the pets we had as a family.

Oh my goodness! I don't have any pets right now but anyone who really knows me well will know that Elroy will forever live in my heart as the sweetest, cutest, funniest cat to ever grace my presence. One of my best memories of him is this night in Iowa when I was 12 and I was lying in bed, not really asleep yet. For some reason I felt a wave of loneliness. I felt really, really lonely. And then out of nowhere Elroy bounded up onto my bed and chortled all happily. He snuggled up to me and I felt instantly better, just like that! We fell asleep with him purring. He slept with me like that all the time :)

What do you like to create? What makes you feel most create-ive? I really like to create doodles of little scenarios. Like comics, only with less effort put into them. I like to try to write interesting journal entries. I like teaching spiritual thoughts for church and coming up with small lessons. I like to draw, to write stories and make up characters. Anything can inspire me, I never really know what will get to me next. Honestly? These two cartoons really make me want to draw: Phineus and Ferb and The Powerpuff Girls. They draw really cool looking people. I notice these things.

What do you love to eat? Steak!! Macaroni and cheese. Chocolate milk. Milk chocolate. Grape juice with ice. Burgers, eggs, avocados, TONS OF THINGS

What is your favorite thing about where you are right now? (This can be Where You Are as in the state or city you're in, or Where You Are as in what your life is like, etc...)

What I love, love, love about Hawaii is... surfing! It's so much fun!!