Dinner Quotables

Me: "Jaxon, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Jax: "A teenager."
Reed: "But Jax....you can only be a teenager for your childhood. After that, you have to be something else."
(they settled on Jaxon being a video game player)

Me: "Reed, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Reed: "A cop who plays with his kids on his days off."

update

I realized that not all of you are on Facebook, so you may not have heard--

Phill's name was on the list to deploy to Afghanistan, but the list is not yet finalized, and there is a chance--slim, but a chance--that he won't have to go. We are praying, hoping, and feeling the calming power of many others who so generously have given their prayers in our favor, too. I don't know when the list will be finalized. Soon. But what does "soon" mean?

In the meantime, tonight I meet with dear friends for a weekend filled with thrift-store-hunting, sushi-eating, unhindered baking and cooking, and undoubtedly lots of laughing, mixed with some tears for good measure.

About this possible deployment, I am alternately filled with dread and then hope. I'm trying to see the good possibilities here. I'm grateful to have so many wonderful friends and supportive family. You take the bitter out of bittersweet.

lately

I have had lots more (than usual) to do lately, and lots to contemplate as Phill's reserve unit gets their list soon of soldiers deploying to Afghanistan this year (woke up with my stomach in knots every morning the last few days, wondering if he will be going this time), so it follows that I have had some darker, heavier moments the last few days. Several times I simply shut down--or broke down. But through this somewhat rocky couple of weeks, I have been humbled to see the hand of the Lord in my life--through other people. One in particular, my dear friend Sarah, has been quietly sustaining me through these last few days that have really tested just how much I can do and how much faith I can develop (I'm getting there...slowly but surely). I want her to know how grateful I am that she allows herself to be directed towards those who need her strong spirit. I definitely do.

My beloved sisters and friends have surprised me with perfectly-timed phone calls or emailed words of encouragement or good humor, and have made daily life sweeter.

My precious children have behaved uncommonly well, and have gone the extra mile to do their part when there is lots to be done.

My willing husband laid his hands on my head last night to offer me words of comfort from our father in heaven, and soothed my troubled soul.

I do know that if Phill has to be deployed this time, I will not be lacking a strong support system. I am surrounded on every side.

Last, a quote from President Spencer W. Kimball--"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other."

Source here

and we dance

I know I say it a lot, but it's only because it's true: I feel immeasurably blessed/humbled to be married to Phill. And I'm only saying it again right now because it's a lead-in to my favorite part of today (so far, I still have some chocolate to eat and reading to do):

Phill dancing in our living room to "Let It Be" and "Hey Jude" with Savvy holding onto his fingers (this includes bouncing up and down as if jumping rope....incredibly exhausting, but little 2-year-olds do it for five minutes non-stop without breaking a sweat), and the boys rocking out nearby in their respective styles. (Jaxon laying lax on the couch, nodding his head up and down, chill as can be; Reed running around in circles, somersaulting, and bellowing with abject happiness.) We laughed so much tonight that my stomach hurts....Savvy was using a light saber as a microphone stand (she caught some Fergie today with me on TV; Glamorous held her spellbound)

The boys are in their beds, with their headphones in and their mp3 players on. Reed is singing, "NAA-NA-NA-NAAAA....HEEEYY JUUUDE" at the top of his lungs (unaware, of course, of how loud he is being to the rest of us), and Jaxon has his eyes closed, only quietly humming here and there, off in dreamy Hendrixland.

Oh, these babies. I used to wonder what it meant when people said, "My heart swells with joy"....and I am telling you, I get it. I feel like my heart is so full, at times like these when we are all laughing and smiling and connected and dancing and free, I wonder that my heart doesn't simply beat its way out of its cage of ribs.

thought--

I was having a little wall-to-wall conversation on Facebook with a family friend--one who was my older sister's best friend when they were 12 and I was 9. I was thinking how wonderful it is that as we grow up and become moms or do the things that many other people do, too, the age number just melts away. I was trying to organize those thoughts and this is what I came up with--

Motherhood is the great equalizer.

Suddenly those who are five, ten, or several years older are made ageless with the things we have in common--pregnancy, birthing, nursing, nourishing; teaching, protecting, guiding; service, anguish, exhaustion, joy; uncertainty, frustration, hope and faith.

In these ongoing and fatiguing endeavors, we are without the emotional tethers of the year in which we were born. Our maternal experience is unique, but we are all in this together.